Sifted Logic

2011-10-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

1 acorn squash

3 sweet potatoes

1 bunch of kale

1 shallot

1 yellow onion

1 box of vegetable stock

3 cloves of garlic

bay leaf

minced ginger

dried mustard

white pepper

salt

paprika

olive oil

1/4 the acorn squash and toss it on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and salt. Peel the sweet potatoes and cut into 1/2 inch cubes. Toss is a baking dish with olive oil, paprika, and dried mustard. Roast both of these uncovered in the oven at 375 for 35-45 mins. The squash should be soft enough to be poked through with a tooth pick but still solid enough to peel off and cube. Remove and let cool for an hour or so. Remove the squash from the skin and cut into 1/2 inch cubes.

Small dice the onion, shallot, and garlic. Toss in a stock pot with olive oil and salt. Cook over med high until soft and translucent. 10-12 mins. Peel the leaves of the kale off of the stems. I prefer black (locinato) kale for this but you can sub other kale or collard/mustard/turnip greens. Toss is the pot with the onions and stuff and cook until soft and wilted.

Add the veg stock, 1/4 tsp of white pepper, 1 bay leaf, ginger, squash, potatoes, enough water to cover and salt to taste. Bring to a boil and then turn down to simmer for 30 mins covered.

You can add cannellini beans if you like. I use the Dorot frozen ginger cubes b/c they are easy and last forever in the freezer. Roasted garlic crostini would rock as well.

Tally it up

2010-06-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

Gun show and lunch at a restaurant with scantily clad waitresses with a buddy $45

Sleeping in and getting my favorite breakfast tacos $12

Purchasing beer and margarita fixins for a family dinner $20

Not having to change a single poopy diaper on fathers day PRICELESS

Cauliflower and Brussel Sprouts

2010-06-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

I hijacked and adulterated this recipe from Kalyn's Kitchen. She does some great gluten free and South Beach friendly recipes of which I enjoy but I can hardly resist putting my own spin on them.

I started with a head of Cauliflower and a pound of Brussel sprouts. I know people have a love/hate relationship with these little cabbage balls but I promise if you stop steaming them to skunky funkiness you will like them better. Most veggies deserve a little accoutrement so by all means indulge them.

Trim the Cauliflower with a paring knife and toss into a baking dish. Sprinkle on some salt and pepper and drizzle with olive oil. Toss them into a 350 degree oven for 30 mins.

Cut the bottoms of the sprouts off and score an X in the bottom. This will help the core steam faster.

Put the sprouts into a steamer to open up their pores a bit. (10-15 minutes)

Shock them in a bowl of ice cold water to stop the cooking process. This works with all steamed veggies. It helps set the color and keep them from turning brown. Strain the ice and water and toss with salt, pepper, and olive oil.

Be sure you have the proper libations to make your cooking experience enjoyable. RineyRitas are a good recommendation.

After you drain the sprouts add them to a roasting dish. I choose my personal favorite multi-tasker. The good 'ol cast iron skillet. Get this a little pre-heated first. 20-25 minutes in the over should be good here.

Toast some pecan pieces with some brown sugar and a dash of salt. Watch the heat so that you don't burn the sugar. Add a couple of pats of butter to get things coated.

I found and tried this little product. Pre frozen ginger. They also have garlic, basil, parsley, and cilantro. Seriously economical and really handy. This comes in during the sautee process.

My secret ingredient and biggest deviation from Kayla's was my little magic tin back there behind my salt pig and my golf ball. It has some bacon drippings in it that come in handy when you want to and a little flavor.

You know you all have a golf ball in your kitchen. They are handy for rolling out thins strips of veal and chicken and for making, "Bumponi" which is a classic italain pasta that has small lumps to cling to the sauce. Ok, I made up that last part.

And when it is time to deglaze keep things consistent. I don't think the original recipe had agave squeezings in it either.

So after the sprouts and cauliflower are done roasting, and by done I mean soft when you poke them with a knife and are soft through the middle, take them out and add them to a large mixing bowl. Add some onion, garlic, shallot, and the ginger to the cast iron pan with some olive oil and salt and pepper. I added some Za'aatar seasoning but that is not the easiest to find and not essential. I got lazy and added some precooked chicken breast to the sautee, which is also optional. After the onions are translucent add a 1/4 cup of wine, tequila, or Everclear depending on your demographic and socioeconomic status of course. Add all of this to the large mixing bowl with the pecans and feta. I chose Feta because the wife is not a fan of gorgonzola, and we all know that marital harmony is prime. Toss together and enjoy.

HONGRY!!!

Mangia.

Maybe we should call him Butters

2010-01-21T08:27:00.000-08:00

We have a very large dog that has the smallest brain ever encountered in a canine. Is he sweet, gentle, protective, and fun? Yes. Does he exhibit any signs of basic intelligence? No. He knows two commands. Sit, which to him means lay down, and crate, which is where he is told to go when he does something wrong or is being excessively annoying. He has a four word vocabulary. Walk, truck, outside, and drop. One of the breed standards for Great Danes is that they have deep set intelligent looking eyes. His are like looking into green orbs of empty goofiness.

The other day he stole a stick of butter off of the counter. This is not a hard feat considering he can walk up and set his chin on them. He took off with it to the babies play room and proceeded to enjoy his savory snack. After a few attempts to get it out of the wrapper he gave up. This mental exercise must have exhausted him and called for a nap so he could gather his thoughts and figure out how to crack this nut. In an attempt to hide his booty he thought it of no better place to stash it than under his large carcass. Yes, he slept on the butter.

My wife went into the room a half hour later to change a diaper and aroused the slumbering thief. He had apparently forgotten about his previous quest and lumbered out of the room to find other trouble to get into leaving behind an odd looking dark spot on the carpet. My wife thought he had tossed his cookies until she noticed the incriminating evidence stuck to his side. A Land-o-Lakes butter wrapper.

Now we have a butter slick in the middle of the playroom and the dog has an entire side covered in matted but glossy fur. He spent two hours sniffing in circles trying to figure out why he could smell but not locate the yummy goodness he had acquired earlier. I honestly expect no less from a dog that will not lift his leg to relieve himself and ends up pissing on his own front paw. On the upside he does get his first trip to the groomers to be pampered and cleaned. I would change his name but it would take him a year to learn it. Love that dog.

The Nanny Challenge: Butternut Squash Tournedos with a Spinach Sformato over a Cauliflower and Shallot creme with a Pomegranate and Red Beet Gastrique

2010-01-16T19:29:00.000-08:00

We were privileged enough to host dinner for our friend's last Saturday before she returned to school for the spring semester. She is a vegetarian which in it's self is a big challenge for my bacon and sausage makes everything better attitude. But toss in the fact that she does not eat cheese and I was stuuuummmmped! So after losing at least three hours of sleep and then dreaming about bean sprouts and rhubarb stalks I finally had an epiphany. I woke up and scribbled down my ideas and only revised them ten or twelve times through out the day. F'ing veggie heads. Ok, I like a challenge. Like Iron Chef or Chopped style.

Happy Nanny

Yummy bites to start

1 butternut squash

2 beets

1 head of cauliflower

1 white onion

1 shallot

2 bunches of spinach

3 eggs

garlic

salt

white pepper

paprika

bay leaf

pomegranate juice

vinegar

cream

white corn syrup (substitute agave nectar if you have it)

blackstrap molasses

vegetable oil

olive oil

Preheat your oven to 350-375. Cut your cauliflower florettes off the head and toss in some olive oil. Put them in a baking dish and throw it in the oven. Peel the squash and cut the longer narrow end into 1 to 1 1/2 inch rounds. Scoop the seeds out of the bottom and cut into cubes. Put the squash in a glazed stone ware or glass baking dish. Drizzel some vegetable oil, corn syrup and a little molasses on the squash. Dust it with a little paprika, toss this together and put it in the oven. Poke some holes in the beets with a fork and drizzle some olive oil over them. Put these in the oven as well. Open a bottle of wine an pour yourself a glass. Roast all of these until they are soft all the way through when poked with a tooth pick. About 20 mins for the cauliflower, 30-40 for the squash, and an hour for the beets. Check them regularly.

Rinse the spinach strain or give it a ride in the salad spinner. Add some olive oil to a hot sautee pan and then add the spinach. Add salt, pepper, and minced garlic. Sautee until soft and wilted. Put the spinach in a tea towel and twist to squeeze out the water. Or you can press it through a strainer.

Making the gastrique:

Gastrique is a fancy pants French word for a sweet and sour sauce. The nice thing is they are really simple and make a nice addition to your meal and up your "cool" status with your friends. Most ask for wine but pomegranate juice is tannic and deep enough to stand on its own.

Add 3 cups of pomegranate juice and 2/3 cup of vinegar to a sauce pan over high heat. You can use white, red, or what ever you have on hand. Remove the beets from the oven and let them cool for a bit. Peel the skin off and cut into 1/2 in pieces. Add this to the liquid along with a good pinch of salt and a bay leaf. Bring this to a boil and then turn down a scooch. You want this to continue to bubble vigorously but not boil over. Keep and eye on this as it reduces by 2/3. Once it gets to a syrup like consistency remove from the heat and strain. Here is a link to a really good video that shows how easy this can be.

The Sformato:

Sformato is an Italian side dish that proves that custard is not just for dessert. They super versatile and flexible. You will need little foil pastry tins, custard dishes, or a smaller disposable cup cake pan. Spray the inside or your cooking vessels with cooking spray. Scramble 4 eggs in a mixing bowl and add a pint of cream. Rough chop the spinach and add to the custard mixture along with a small handful of bread crumbs, salt and pepper to taste. Fold this together and then pour it into your cups. The amount of restraint exercised to not add some parmesean cheese to this was monumental. Put your cups in a glass baking dish and add boiling water until it comes about half way up the sides of the cups. Carefully put this in oven. Cook these until they do not jiggle and tooth pick comes out clean. Flip the cups over and the lil buddies should pop right out

Cauliflower cream:

Mince half of a white onion and one shallot. Sautee this in olive oil with some minced garlic, salt, and white pepper until translucent. Add a pint of cream and bring to a boil. Turn down the heat and reduce until 1/2 the original volume is gone. Add some chopped roasted garlic and hit it with your stick blender or pour it in a regular blender. Work it until it is smooth.

Assembly:

Brush some oil on a hot grill pan. Add the squash rounds and grill until marked turning a 1/4 turn half way through. Pour the cauliflower cream on the base of the plate and spread evenly by tilting the plate. Pop your sformato on one side and your squash on the other. Drizzle a little gastrique over the top and enjoy.

Oh, the starter was some grilled endive leaves with a little black olive and dried berry tapenade. I used nuts and dried berries as a filler since anchovies were out. I will post that one later.

White Bean and Potato Soup with Black Kale

2010-01-07T07:36:00.001-08:00

This is a really good and simple winter time soup. Kale is readily available and super nutritious. If you can't find Black Kale, regular Kale or Lacinato works. You can also sub any other greens like collard, turnip,or mustard. Don't be squeamish. Greens are not just for chitlins and southern picnics. They are a nice hearty way to get your phyto-chemicals, iron, trace elements and vitamins A, C, E, and K. Sauteed in a little olive oil and dressed with a warm bacon vinagrette and shallots makes them sophisticated enough to bring to the dinner table, unlike that dentally challenged uncle that wears cut off shorts and a Miller High Life ball cap as formal wear. You know thats how you think of Greens. Anywho.

1 bunch of Kale

4-5 medium potatoes

1 pound of white (Navy) beans or 2 cans of Cannelinni beans

1 box of chicken or vegetable broth

2 cloves of garlic

1 sprig of thyme

1 small shallot

Zest of 1/2 lemon

Bay leaf

Slat

Pepper

Cotija or some hard salty cheese

If you are using regular beans follow the instructions for over night soaking and rinsing. Otherwise fast forward to tomorrow and get hopping. Simmer your beans with a bay leaf or two for an hour or until they are tender. Reserve half of the cooking liquid and the bay leaf.

Cube up your potatoes into 1/2" pieces. I like to go a little small that normal so that the are closer to the size of the beans. Add them to a pot and add just enough water to cover them. Cover the pot and bring to a boil. Turn the heat down to medium and cook until soft which should be about 15 mins. Strain and reserve half the cooking liquid.

Mince your shallot and slice your garlic. Rough chop your kale or tear it up like that 12 page research paper your teacher gave you a C- on back in 7th grade. Add the shallot, garlic, thyme, kale, lemon zest, broth, bean liquid, potato liquid, eye of newt, wart of frog....the rest of the stuff. Add salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a bubble and then turn down to simmer for about 7 minutes or until the kale is cooked through.

Ladle into bowls and then add some cheese. I am a fan of a nice salty crumbly mexican cojtia seco. You could also use a nice ricotta salata, grated parmesean, or peccerino. Basically anything hard and salty.

Mangia!

Daddy's Little Helper

2010-01-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

My little man is growing up so fast. He is totally a chip of the 'ol block. Since he started walking he has been following me around the kitchen. Once he was able to move the chairs around and climb into them he would pull up next to me and watch. He was fascinated by rissotto and grabbed a spoon out of the caddy to help stir. Yesterday while I was making fried rice he reached into the salt ramekin and grabbed a perfect pinch and tossed it in. He just stands there the whole time oohing and ahhing and trying to help how ever he can. In these pictures he was adding rice to the wok for me.

Can't wait to teach him more so that maybe one morning in the near future (let's say 3 or 4 years), he will treat his parents to a wonderful breakfast in bed consisting of eggs Benidict with heritage farms bacon, a perfectly poached egg, flawless hollindaise sauce and some crispy potatoes. Not too much to ask for .

Mashed Potato Flakes

2010-01-06T10:20:00.000-08:00

Don't take it personally but if I ever catch you using boxed potato flakes for your side dish I will kick you in the shins.

2010-01-05T12:23:00.001-08:00

Roasted Cauliflower

Pork Fried Rice

White bean and Potato soup with black kale

Southwestern Chicken Succotash

Happy New Year

2010-01-05T09:04:00.001-08:00

A few years ago I made a New Years resolution to never make another New Years resolution again. Problem solved as far as I was concerned. How could I ever set myself up for disappointment and let myself down again. I did make one a couple of years after that to not make any more friends. Those of you that know my sardonic sense of humor understand where that comes from. YTD I think I am -4 so I have some room for a couple of new ones. That being said I have learned to be realistic about expectations and goals.

This year I have committed to a few lifestyle changes. In a nut shell they are to go wheat, corn, and soy free. I think cutting back on the sauce (booze) would be a good idea as well. I am not as spry getting out of bed these days so apparently I need to get off my ass and be a little more active. And finally, I have committed to giving up so many of the useless time sucks in my life. I deleted my twitter account. Facebook is leaving my toolbar bookmarks. I am actually about to finish a book I started 4 days ago. And I am cutting my scheduled DVR recordings in half. After randomly spending a half day of watching Jersey Shore, Steven Segal Law Man, and some pregnant teenager show on MTV you quickly realize that there is a way to waste 6 hours of your life that you can never recover.

I am looking forward to cooking more, getting my garden together, and getting out with my kiddos as soon as these nipple hardening, dog bowl water freezing, get the "F" back to the arctic where you belong temperatures pass. We have a financial plan for the year that should leave us in much better condition than we have been in lately. I am working on a recurring cleaning/organization plan that should help us keep this house from looking like the Cat in the Hat visits every two days. All together more production, less relaxation.

I am initiating these step gradually as opposed to going clod turkey on a laundry list of changes that would only leave me freaking like Lindsay Lohan three days into rehab. Only I would be craving bread and a Real Stories of the Highway Patrol marathon.

Austin Trip

2009-12-30T08:11:00.000-08:00

We took a trip down to Austin the day after Christmas to see the grand parents. It was nice trip and the babies came out with a ton of schwag.

Grandpa and Beck working the tow truck

Grandpa and Ella (aka "What ever she wants") sharing smiles.

Sweet girl and a snowman

The first girl in 51 years in our family gets a lot of attention

My dad and his mom.

Ella taking a ride on great granny's scooter

Grandma and her lil buddy

He is stuck on full speed ahead an his dial goes

all the way up to 11.

Me and my boy.

A chilly day at Barton Springs.

My sweet snaggle tooth.

No trip is complete with out an obligatory stop at

our favorite watering hole.

Mmm...Mexican Martini with Sauza Tres Gen

and Cointreau. Perfection.

I really enjoyed the juxtaposition on this one.

Butternut Squash Risotto

2009-12-25T19:20:00.000-08:00

This is pretty much a winter staple at our house. Add panchetta or chicken if you like.

3 boxes of chicken or veggie stock/broth

2-3 cups of Aborio rice or Carnaroli if you can find it

1 Medium onion diced

1 shallot diced

4 cloves of garlic

Olive oil

White pepper

Salt

Bay leaf

1 Medium butternut squash

Blackstrap molasses

White corn syrup

Paprika

Peel the squash and cut off the ends. Cut in half lengthwise. Scoop out the seeds and stringy pulp. Cut into 1/2" cubes and toss in a stoneware dish or glass casserole dish. Add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil and corn syrup and drizzle with molasses. Dust a little paprika on top and toss until well incorporated. Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes or until soft when poked with a toothpick.

Empty your stock/broth into a sauce pan and heat until it is just steaming. Dice up your onion, shallot, and garlic. Sautee in olive oil with the bay leaf until soft and translucent. *This Step Is Important so DO NOT SKIP IT* Add the rice and mix until the grains are coated with oil. Let this toast for a minute or two. This will help release the starches in the grain and make it more creamy. Slowly ladle stock until the rice is covered. Begin stirring and do not stop. Ever. Even if your wife is in labor. Continue to add stock as the rice soaks it up. You will know the rice is getting close to done when while you are stirring you can no longer feel individual grains hitting the spoon or spatula. Once the grains are soft through the center turn the heat down and add the squash.

Remove from the heat and grate some Parmesean or Peccerino on top. You can add sage leaves or vanilla bean to add different flavors.

Mangia!

Thanks Santa

2009-12-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

The three things that will not leave my stove until April. Thanks for the new cast iron grill pan Grace and HC

Potato Leek Soup

2009-12-25T15:36:00.000-08:00

I did this the other day and only used 1/2 cup of cream. It could have been totally omitted and it still would have come out yummy and creamy.

4-5lbs of russet or creamers peeled

Chicken or veggie broth

1 large bunch of leeks

1 medium onion

1 medium shallot

3 cloves of garlic

3 table spoons of butter

2 bay leaves

Peel and cut your potatoes into 1/2 " cubes. Put them in a stock pot or dutch over and add just enough broth to cover them. Bring to a boil and the turn down to a medium simmer and cook until soft. Cut the bottom off of the leeks and cut in half length wise (top to bottom). Soak and separate in cool water to get rid of any remaining dirt. Cut them into a small dice from the bottom to about half way up the green part. Cut your onion, shallot, and garlic into a small dice.

Strain the potatoes making sure to reserve the cooking liquid. return your pot to the fire and add the butter, leeks, onion, shallot, garlic, and bay leaf. Sautee until limp and translucent. Return the potatoes and all but about 2 cups of the broth. Let this cook together for 20 mins stirring occasionally. Now you need to puree. You can work this in batches in your food processor on use and immersion/stick blender. If you use either of theses tools be sure and remove the bay leaf prior to pureeing. Or you can grab and old school whisk and get a good forearm work out which is what I did since I forgot to charge my stick blender.

Give it a good working over adding the reserved cooking liquid if it gets a little tight. This is when you can add the cream if you like or go without. There is enough residual starch from the potatoes to thicken it up. Garnish with chives or scallions and some crumbled bacon. A healthy dose of Parmesean run through a Microplane grater is also a good idea.

Mangia

Corn and Potatoe Chowder (With or w/out ham

2009-12-19T07:18:00.001-08:00

The wifey has been a little under the weather and requested some soup. This is a quick one that I put together for her.

3 cans of cream style corn

1 medium onion

1 shallot

3 cloves of garlic

6 strips of bacon

4 medium potatoes

1 Box of chicken stock

1 pint of heavy cream

1/2 tsp white pepper

salt

2 cups of Guryer or Cheddar cheese and 1-2 pounds of cubed ham (optional)

Cook you bacon until crispy and let rest on a paper towel lined plate. Reserve the drippings. Cut you onion and shallot into a small dice. For the potatoes, to peel or not to peel, that is your choice. Cut them into decent size pieces. Crush up the cloves of garlic. Add the bacon drippings to a warm cast iron dutch oven or heavy bottomed soup/stock pot. Sautee the aromatics until soft adding the white pepper and salt to taste. Once they are soft and translucent add a splash of the stock to deglaze the pan. Add the corn, potatoes, cream, ham if desired and stock.

Simmer this covered for an hour or so. Remove the lid and check for consistency. If it is a little thin let it simmer for 30 mins or so uncovered. You can always add a slurry of Guar gum or cornstarch if you like. Crumble up the bacon and add it at the end. For some extra flavor throw a cup or two of Guryer or Cheddar cheese in at the end. Diced chives or green onions make a nice garnish for this and some warm cibatta rolls or crusty rustic bread for dipping.

Do try this at home

2009-10-18T19:43:00.001-07:00

Don't be scared. No family members or eyebrows were injured during this process.

Deglazing is fun and knowing that the flare up is actually a really cool flame should give some sense of relief. I started tonight with a case of culinary block. I had no idea what to make for dinner. Watching an episode of Top Chef can nip that in the bud. The episode about Pig and Pinots gave me something to go with. We ended up with roasted pork tenderloin and broccoli with Bouchant and garlic mashers and a Chardonnay sage reduction. It really bugs me how complicated that all sounds considering how easy it is.

I peeled and cubed up some potatoes and boiled them in salted water with a splash of vinegar. At the same time I steamed some broccoli and the removed to an ice bath when they were starting to get tender. Actually I went a little too far with the broccoli because I was trying to put a pair of toddlers to bed at the same time.

I diced up an onion, shallot, and a few cloves of garlic and sautéed them in olive oil in a skillet large enough to handle my tenderloins. I added a little salt and pepper during this process. Once the onions were translucent I added a good pour of Bouchant and deglazed the pan. Fireworks!

Once the flames died down I scooped out the aromatics and tossed in the pork. Let these babies rest for a while to carmalize on the outside. Flip once they are nice and brown, insert a meat thermometer into thickest one and put the pan into the oven at 350. Let these roast for 8-10 minutes.

Toss the drained broccoli with some salt, pepper, olive oil, and a spoon full or two of the onion/garlic/shallot mix. Spread on to a baking sheet and drop on to a rack below the pork.

Crap! Taters. These should have been strained and put into a mixing bowl. Add 1/2 stick of butter, 2 big spoons of sour cream, 1/2 cup of milk, a couple of table spoons of the sautéed onions, salt and pepper. Mash and set aside.

Once the pork hits 155-165 internal temp pull the pan out. Place to tenderloin on a cutting board under a tent of foil to rest. Put the pan back on the burned cranked up to high. Duct tape a towel around your non-dominate hand because I have grabbed a pan handle that just came out of the oven more than once. This would be fortunate in the event that I needed to be finger printed because I don't think I have any prints left. Add the remaining onion mix to the pan until it is sizzling pretty good. Add 1 cup of white wine to deglaze and scrape the bottom of the pan to ge the fond off.

Let this mess reduce to about 1/2 the original volume and remove from the heat. Add a 1/2 stick of butter cut into small cubes and slowly stir until completely melted and incorporated. I like to puree this with a hand blender until smooth.

Slice the pork into medallions, drop some potatoes and broccoli on the plate and add the sauce. Viola. Tired and buzzed is not the best blogging combo but I am sure I will return to edit this tomorrow. Just trying to keep it regular.

Out of focus Bouchant. My favorite less expensive orange liquor. Save the Grand Mariner and Cointreau for margaritas.

Deglazing while talking on the phone. True multi-tasking.

Pretty pork cleaned and ready to go.

Proper browning. Don't touch it for at least 5 minutes after you put it in.

Finished product.

The Vemon, she is soooo good.

2009-10-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

I picked up a bottle of wine on chili day that I have not seen in quite a while. This puppy is pretty hard to find especially in a retail outlet. It is so top secret Seghesio doesn't even have it on its web site. It is the "Venom."

Seghesio has long been known as a prime producer of Zinfandel. While I appreciate their efforts, Zin is not one of my favorite grapes. Their work with Sangiovese is what I really enjoy. It seems that GrandPa Seghesio planted some vines from his native land back in 1910. While I am sure he was making some kick ass "Chianti Americano" prohibition pretty much put a stop to that. In wines resurgence Sangiovese was not exactly on chic list here in the states. Heck, most people didn't even know what was in those funny wicker lined bottles served in those mom and pop Italian food restaurants. Well, thanks to the new Super Tuscans and odd balls like me Sangiovese is now being not only appreciated but celebrated. About friggin' time you Johnny-come-lateleys.

This wine is elegance and finesse backed up with some serious fruit and a Megan Fox'esque sexy finish. The bright fruit nose picks up right as you open the bottle. It has a beautiful light red color very reminiscent of a good Dolcetto d'alba but with much more backbone. I wouldn't say it is as feminine as a Barbaresco but this ain't gonna go head to head with a cab. It is 100% Sangiovese so it is a true expression of the grape and the land. I have had a few sexy Spainards like this as well but they are few and far between. I hesitate to tell you the location for fear that you might head out and buy all of the remaining stock before my kidney extraction and sale is completed this weekend.

All in all this has to be one of the best $40 bottles of wine I have ever had. It is hard to find retail but if you do, pick up a case or three. And if you do feel free to invite me over for dinner. I promise to cook a meal that will revolve entirely around the wine.

Happy drinking!

Chili Time!

2009-10-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

When the mercury dips into the 50s and football season is in full swing I start to get a hankering. Nothing says fall like a good pot of chili con carne. My wife made the suggestion on the way home today and I was happy to obliged. There are a thousand ways to skin a cat and make a pot of chili. I in no way claim to have a blue ribbon recipe or am an authority but I have learned a few things from trial and error. Here is my contribution which come with the usual disclaimer of; I rarely measure and scarcely use scripted recipes.

The meat is the most important thing. Today I used beef chuck, pork shoulder (boston butt), and some ground buffalo. In the past I have included venison, antelope, goat, turkey, lamb, moose, or any other flesh that can be obtained. They all add their own interesting characteristics and flavors that can add depth and character to your creation. You can buy chili meat from you local grocery store which is little more than ground beef scraps pushed through a different die. I choose to make my own so that I can control the composition and texture.

There is a requisite amount of fat required, since after all fat is flavor. The good thing about making your own chili meat is that you can control this like an OCD kid sorting legos. I am a big fan of beef chuck for the base. It is easy to find and usually has an 80/20 lean to fat composition. I like to add some pork shoulder for lightness and texture, and the buffalo just happened to be available. Stick with the beef if you want to keep it simple.

3/4 pound of beef chuck and pork shoulder and 1/2 pound of Buffalo.

First cut up your meat into 1" cubes. Don't be too fussy since it is all gonna be chopped up next.

Drop a few pieces at a time into your food processor with the standard chopping blade. Pulse 8-10 times to get the desired consistency. Remove and start another batch.

This is what you are looking for. Not completely ground. Texture is good.

Brown the meat in small batches in a heavy bottomed pot or enameled dutch oven with some canola oil, salt, and pepper. Notice all the yummy brown goodness on the bottom. That is called fond. It makes everything taste better. We will deal with that later. Remove and let the meat drain on a plate lined with paper towels.

Add your aromatics. This is 1 large white onion, 1 large shallot, and 5-6 cloves of fresh garlic. a rough chop or dice is fine. Add salt and pepper and cook until translucent which should be 8-10 minutes.

Once your onions and such are cooked down add at least 1/2 bottle of red wine. The majority of my cooking liquid is wine or beer since water really adds no flavor and instead becomes a simple medium to cook in. Make sure and scrape all of the browned bits off the bottom of the pan with a flat head wooden spoon or spatula.

This is where you start adding your spices and such. I have previously blogged about my favorite, but that is certainly left to your own personal interpretation. Yeah, most purists would go and hunt and gather their own ingredients but I leave that to food anthropologists and budding sociopaths. My personal fav asks for some crushed tomatoes and water but of course I deviate. A can or two of crushed tomatoes is great but remember to drain the juice. I also add a can of tomato sauce, a can of tomato paste, 2 bay leaves, the zest of 1/2 lemon and the juice of a whole lemon. A splash of apple cider vinegar and a spoon full of brown sugar is always appreciated. Return the meat to the pot and add enough wine or water to ensure that all the goodies are floating.

Bring this whole mess to a simmer and the cover and turn down the heat to LOW. Grab half of your six pack or another bottle of wine and go catch at least 2 hours of a game or some home improvement shows. Come back later and check your creation. If it is a little thin leave the lid off for a few. If you insist on thickening it with assistance I recommend using Guar Gum. It has 8x the thickening power of corn starch and is very flavor neutral.

Remove from the heat and get your fixings ready. I am a fan of Fritos, corn bread, sharp cheddar cheese, diced onion, cilantro, and sour cream.

Pick your poison and you are good to go.

Peace be to you that has a steaming bowl of chili and a team that has a chance of making the play offs.

My Choice

2009-09-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

Most cooks will tell you that your meal is only worth the salt you use. While I am a fan of the fancy grey and pink salts out there, my workhorse will always be coarse kosher salt. Learning to use it is a it of a curve if you have always used that fine grained iodized version. You will need to up the amount by about half since the larger crystals means less salt by volume. It lacks that "tinny" taste the comes from the iodination. The pleasant crunch adds a nice texture when sprinkled on a steak. And heck, it is easier to "pinch and toss into your pot making you look like a true pro.

Chicken and cous cous goodness

2009-08-25T08:14:00.000-07:00

This is a nice light lunch dinner I put together for the ladies for lunch one day. You can switch the cous cous with brown rice to make it south beach friendly.

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts.
2 boxes of preferred cous cous
2 cucumbers
2 tomatoes
flat leaf Italian parsley
1 lemon
2 minced garlic cloves
1/2 bulb or shallot minced
1 tsp of olive oil
1/2 tsp of salt
pepper

I prefer to pound out the chicken breasts paillard style in a large ziploc bag to a uniform thickness. This promotes quick and even cooking and keeps it from drying out. Add salt and pepper and grill our sautee over med high heat for about 3 mins per side. I really like using my George Foreman grill for this since it cuts the time in half and you loose some of the fat. Remove and let rest. Cook your couscous and let sit for a bit.

Quarter the cucumbers length wise and cut out the majority of the seeds. Cut into 1/4 in pieces. Quarter the tomatoes and remove the seeds. Cut into 1/4 inch pieces. Chop up a cup of parsley.
Fluff the cous cous and transfer to a large serving bowl. Add the tomatoes, cucumbers, parsley, garlic and parsley. Add the zest of half of the lemon and the juice from the whole lemon. Add the olive oil and toss together. Salt and pepper to taste. This is good warm or as a chilled salad. My other recommendation for this would be to add a 1/2 cup of plain yogurt and some dill to make it a little richer.

Ancho roasted pork shoulder

2009-08-25T07:10:00.000-07:00

I have done this one a couple of times now with great results. I would have to reccomend choosing a boneless cut since it tends to cook more evenly. Please take the time to seek out a pork shoulder, AKA boston butt. It is not too hard to find but not every major chain has them readily available. This is a great recipe that can be served as a roast or shredded and used as carnitas for tacos or rellenos.

4-7 lb boneless pork shoulder (Boston Butt)
6 dried chiles. I prefer a mix of Ancho, New Mexico, and Pasillla
Canola, olive (not extra virgin), or grapeseed oil.
2 cloves of garlic smashed and diced
1 onion chopped
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp paprika
a dozen fennel seeds
1 tsp brown sugar
1 tsp honey
2 cups of white wine
salt and pepper

Bring a medium size sauce pan or water to a boil and then remove from the heat. Add the dried chiles and submerge with a plate, steamer basket, or what ever you can find that will fit in the pan and keep them under the water. Let them steep for 15 minutes. I recommend leaving your pork out for an hour or two to get close to room temperature. Please don't freak out about this since a.) most pork is raised and slaughtered in environments that are cleaner than the average hospital and b.) you will be cooking this long and thoroughly enough to kill and cooties that may be present. Trim the larger portions of fat off of the shoulder but do not go completely crazy and try and perform full liposuction on it. After all the flavor is in the fat. Add enough oil to just cover the bottom or a dutch oven or large stock pot on Med high heat. If you do not have an enameled cast iron dutch oven please let me suggest this one. It is $100 less that that fancy pants french brand and performs just as well. You will get miles and miles out of this piece of equipment. Liberally salt and pepper the shoulder and brown on all sides. Remove the meat and place on a platter. Add the onion and garlic to the pot and sautee until the onion is translucent about 6-8 minutes. Add one cup of the wine to deglaze and turn the heat to low for a few minutes. Make sure and scape the bottom of the pot to remove any yummy brown bits that may still be stuck there. Pour the contents into your food processor or blender.

Remove the chiles from the water and remove stems. Rinse them under cool water to wash out the seeds. You don't have to be too OCD about this since any remaining seed will only add a little pop. Add the chiles and remaining ingredients to you food processor and hit the go button. Slowly drizzle in approx 1/2 cup of oil until you have a smooth consistency.

Cut a few random 1/2 inch slits in the shoulder and then coat the outside or the pork with the puree. Put the meat back in the pot and add any remaining puree and the other cup of wine. Make sure the liquid is about an inch deep around the meat. Put the lid on and pop into a 275 degree oven for at least 3 hrs. Grab a couple of beers and watch some TV, hit Facebook, or fold those stacks of laundry that have been there all week.

After three hours you should be able to pull the meat apart with a fork. Remove the meat and let is rest on a platter covered with foil for 15 mins. You can skim the fat off the top of the remaining liquid and reduce down to make a kick ass sauce. Slice the like a roast or shred it with a couple of forks and serve with some beans, rice, and tortillas.

You can always add a 1/2 tsp of Cayenne or chipolte powder to get some more BAM! if you like. As always please let me know if you have any questions or if the were any omissions or confusion.

Clay Pot Coconut Curry Beef

2009-04-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

You can swing this with lamb as well. Did this for The Devine Dinner. This was my first time slow cooking with curry but it turned out great. You can do this in a enamled cast iron Dutch over, heavy pot, or slow cooker/crock pot if you like. If you use a clay pot be sure to soak it for at least 15 minutes in cool water before using.

2lbs of Beef Chuck or Lamb leg/shoulder
2 cans of coconut milk
1 cup of white wine
Regular plain yogurt
3 lemons
1 yellow onion
Red and yellow bell peppers
Shallot
Garlic
Punjab curry powder
Ground mustard
Mint
Salt
Pepper
Bay Leaf
Olive oil

Rub your meat with salt and pepper and drop it into a gallon size Ziploc storage bag. Add one can of coconut milk, a cup of yogurt, the zest of one lemon, a table spoon of the curry powder and a couple of table spoons of olive oil. Seal it and shake to combine. Allow this to marinate in the fridge for at least six hours but better if it is over night.

Take out the meat and let is rest for an hour or so to come up to room temp. Save the marinade liquid. Brown the meat in a heavy pot or dutch oven with olive oil over medium heat. Be careful not to get it to hot and watch carefully because the sugar in the coconut milk and yogurt will blacken and get bitter. Remove the meat and set aside. Chop your onion , peppers, shallot, and garlic and add to the pot till the veggies are soft. Add salt and pepper to taste as they cook. Toss in some roughly chopped or torn mint at the end. Deglaze the pan with the white wine and scrape all the yummy bits off the bottom of the pan.

Transfer the veggies to the clay pot. Set the meat on top of them and add the bay leaf, some whole pepper corns, ground mustard, and the marinade liquid and the juice of a lemon. Add more coconut milk so that the meat is covered about half way up. Put the clay pot in a COLD (do not pre-heat your over if using caly ware lest you want it to crack and spill your goods all over the bottom) and turn it to 350. Spend the next 4 hours napping, checking facebook updates, or watching a sporting event. Remove and fork test the meat. It should fall apart wit a stern look or light poke. Enjoy.

If you don't have a clay pot you can do it in a dutch oven at 350 for the same ammount of time or stove top in a heavy pot over low heat for 2-3 hours. Keep an eye on the stove pot method and make sure you don't lose too much liquid through reduction.

As always let me know if i left anything out or if you have questions. Such is the madness of cooking from the hip and not having/using recipes.

Word.

Sunday is steak day

2009-04-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

We invited the grandparents over for Sunday dinner to see the babies and such. We originally planned a low key burger and chips dinner but the Wine Guy at Market Street quickly derailed that plan for me.

Wine Guy: Hey there, whats going on?

Me: Aww, not much. Having the grandparents over for dinner so I came to pick up some burgers and chips.

Wine Guy: Don't do burgers?

Me: *eyebrow raised* Really? Why? (how dare he question my dinner plan)

Wine Guy: They have T-bones on sale for $1.99/lb.

Me: No way! (Pavlovian tail wagging begins)

Wine Guy: But they are out. *sly smile*

Me: Huh? (roughly translated to "Asshole...don't play me like that!")

Wine Guy: So instead they switched to NY Strips.

Me: Ok. I can deal with that. (Not my favorite cut but still worth the price and I can grind the rest)

Wine Guy: But they ran out of those too.

Me: Seriously? (restraining myself from kicking him in the Jimmy)

Wine Guy: But I heard they sent a guy to the store in McKinney to pick up some Ribeyes.

Me: Ohhh... (almost sharting myself because Ribeye is on my "last meal" menu) I can deal with that.

So I quickly plowed through a family of four and knocked over an end cap of peanuts and preperation H to get to the coffin fridges. There were three packs of beautifully marbled six packs of steaks none of which exceeded $18. Glory be! I was a happy man. I had to back track through the produce section for spinach and taters and of course revisit the Wine Guy to let him schlep some of his spirits to me. Either way Beck and I managed quick and successful shopping trip and returned to surprise the family with a gorgeous upgrade from the expected dinner of sliders and crisps.

Steak, blessed steak!

Spinach on the Sautee

Yummy baby bellas being sweated.

Pascual Toso and Mother's Milk for drinking

Grilled Ribeye steak with mushroom shallot red wine reduction, chive and garlic masher and sauteed spinach. Mangia!

For Caroline...Brulee recipe

2009-03-26T18:03:00.000-07:00

1 large egg
5 large egg yolks
1/2 cup sugar + 1/4 cup for the berries.
3 cups heavy cream
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon pure almond extract
1 tablespoon orange liqueur (Grand Marnier or Bouchant
Juice of one lemon

Add the berries, sugar and lemon juice to a bowl and toss to combine. Let sit for at least 2 hours.

Slowly combine the egg, yolks, and sugar in your mixer with the paddle attachment on low speed. You can do this by hand with a whisk just to be too aggressive. After the yolks lighten in color a bit slowly add the cream in a slow steady stream. Add the vanilla and almond. Add berries to ramekins or stoneware dish and pour the custard over them.

Place the ramekins in a baking pan and carefully pour boiling water into the pan to come halfway up the sides of the ramekins. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes at 325, until the custards are set when gently shaken. Remove the custards from the water bath, cool to room temperature, and refrigerate until firm.

To serve, spread 1 tablespoon of sugar evenly on the top of each ramekin and heat with a kitchen blowtorch or benz0matic (my favorite) until the sugar caramelizes evenly. Allow to sit at room temperature for a minute until the caramelized sugar hardens.

Dinner for the Devine.

2009-03-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned yesterday I had the privileged of making dinner for a special friend of ours and her family. The circumstances leading to this were not the best but all things considered I wanted to try and give them a few moments to focus on something different. This was never an attempt to one up anybody in the rotation, this is just what I like to do. Feed me with your friendship and wisdom and I will feed you from my soul. The menu was as follows:

Coconut milk and curry roasted beef shoulder with onion, fennel,
and peppers done in a clay pot.

Shitake mushroom and fig quinoa with sage and thyme

Not pictured were some roasted pears and a dandelion and radish greens salad
with lardons and a warm bacon shallot vinaigrette

A macerated berry creme brulee with vanilla
and Bouchant

The little Devine's enjoyed a baked ziti with herbed chicken
and spinach and some cookie brownie bars.

I am hoping it gets rave reviews. There is nothing I enjoy more than spending a day in the kitchen cooking for others. Some of these were new recipes. This was also my first attempt at making a dessert without assistance from Mr. Heins or Ms. Crocker.

Mangia!

Austin Trip

2009-03-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the absence. We had some sick cranky babies and the went dow n to Austin to see the Grandparents. We had a great time and got to hit some of our favorite spots. We started with lunch at Trudy's. It is almost obligatory to have a margarita or Mexican martini while there. We went out that night to see if it would really be that bad considering it was the closing weekend for SXSW. It was worse. We were going to see Dexter Freebish at the Saxon Pub but parking was a bitch. We loved the stares we got pulling up in a mini van. C'mon people. Parents gotta rock out too. We bailed on downtown since Vespaio and Gueros we packed. We decided to head for the lake and had drinks at the Hula Hut. After that we hit Slick Willie's to play some pool. Who knew my wife had some mad skills. Mad enough to win 2 of the 7 games. Good times.

We really enjoyed our time there. Since the weather was nice we took the parents to Iguana Grill to enjoy the view and some more margaritas. We got some great pics of the family. Next time we are going to head back ot Cafe Blue. This is the location but not the original incarnation of a place built and opened by a buddy named Jeff Currington and his buddy Van. It is built on the lake below the flood plane. The used cocnrete, stainless steel, and teak for the construction and sealed the electrical system so then when it flodded they could take all the equipment out. and then come back and hose it down and reopen.

Tomorrow I get the privilidge of cooking for a good friend who's dad is in the hospital. I am planning a nice clay pot roast with curry and coconut, mushroom and fig quinoa, a dandelion and radish salad with a warm bacon shallot vinagrette, and a macerated berry brulee. I am also doing a nice baked ziti for the kiddos. I will let you know how it turns out.

Holy Spit!

2009-03-15T18:02:00.000-07:00

I solemnly swear that at some point this year I will spit roast a whole pig and we shall have a kick ass Luau! Not sure where. Not sure when. But I will keep you posted. Thanks for the inspiration Grocery Guy.

My Choice

2009-03-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

My mom picked up a pack of Tuldy's chili seasoning and enjoyed it. She was kind enough to bring some up to me and I was an instant convert. The combine the perfect level of spice, smoke, and richness. The recipe is simple and you can customize it how you like. Their tortilla soup mix is kick ass as well. I have not found a retailer in the DFW area yet so I stock up on our trips to Austin. They also sell online.

Achiote and Chile Pasilla Marinated Chicken Roulade

2009-03-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

Per your requests. This was inspired by a dish I had 12 years ago from a restaurant named Xena in Austin. Unfortunately it was well ahead of its time and closed. The chicken was breaded and baked but the avocado sauce was what set it apart.

Marinade-

Rehydrated 4 or 5 dried chiles in water just off the boil. I used Pasilla and New Mexico for this one but you could use Arbol, Cascabel, or even Chipolte if you like. Once they have softened remove the stems and split them and discard the seeds. I bought and ground whole Annatto seeds for the achiote. I recommend buying your achiote already ground because this was a heck of an ordeal. They do not give it up easily.

Combine the chiles and achiote powder in a food processor with some vegetable oil, apple cider vinegar, salt, pepper, cumin, minced garlic, lemon zest and honey. Blend it until completely incorporated. Set aside.

Chicken-

Butterfly boneless skinless breasts and pound out with a mallet until they are about 1/8th of an inch thick. I usually do this in a large ziploc storage bag with a little oil in it to contain the mess. The oil helps prevent the chicken from tearing apart when pounding.

Put the breasts in a bowl or ziploc bag with the marinade and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.

After allowing the chicken to rest don some latex gloves and lay it out on a work surface covered with plastic wrap. Achiote is commonly used as a food dye and for makeup. It will stain your skin and surfaces if exposed for a period of time. Lay down slices of Manchego, thinly sliced panchetta or seranno ham that has been browned in a saute pan (put this pan aside and don't discard the rendered fat from the ham), and sage leaves on one side of the breast. roll the breasts up and remember to tuck the ends into contain the cheese. Secure with toothpicks. Set aside.

Roasted Corn Salsa-

Soak 4-5 whole ears of corn for 10-15 minutes. Toss on the grill for 12-15 minutes turning occasionally. The outsides will char but don't worry. Remove the husks and silk. Cut off the end where the husk is and stand on end. Run your knife down the sides and remove the kernels.

Peel and grate one bulb of Jicima. Dice a red and green bell pepper, 1/2 onion, shallot, and garlic. Add this to a large bowl with the corn and toss with the juice of one lime, one blood or regular orange, some chopped cilantro and a couple table spoons of olive oil. Add salt and pepper to taste. Set aside

Mashed potatoes.

Peel some white or creamer potatoes and boil in salted water until soft. Strain and set aside. Saute one diced onion, shallot and garlic in the pan previously used for browning the ham. Add a little oil if needed and salt and pepper. Cook this down for 5-7 minutes until the onions are soft. Increase the heat and add 1/2 cup of Bouchant, Cointreau, or Grand Marnier. Hold a lit match over the pan to ignite and burn off the vapors. If you cook on gas just tilt the pan and it should flare up. If you get nervous about the flames keep a lid close and simply cover the pan to put it out. Make sure all your friends are around for the show of course. After the liquid has reduced add this to the potatoes with 1/2 stick of butter, 1 cup of sour cream, 1 cup of heavy cream 1 tsp of ground mustard and 3 table spoons of horseradish. Mash this all together and a salt to taste.

Avocado Sauce-

Split and scoop out 5-6 avocados. Roughly chop or smash them up. Add to a saute pan with 3 gloves of minced garlic, 1 cup of cream, 1/2 stick of butter. Heat until just warmed through and transfer to a blender. Add a few sprigs of cilantro and some salt. Turn on and puree slowly adding 1/2 cup of olive oil and salt. If the sauce is still a little tight slowly add warm water to get the desired consistency.

Final prep-

Grill the chicken and remove when cooked through. Remove the tootpicks and slice into medalions. Put a spoonful of potatoes in the center of the plate and ladle the sauce around the rest of the plate. Place the chicken on top of the potatoes and drop some corn salsa on top. Enjoy!

Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.

My Choice

2009-03-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

Every cook has his workhorses. You 10 inch sautee pan, your bag o' magic spices, and of course your knife. I received my first Global for Christmas 9 years ago. I dropped it on my bare foot the first time I used it and almost severed the tendon to my big toe. Since then it has served me well and cut me very rarely. It is lighter and less fatiguing than my heavier Henckels and Wusthoffs and the balance is great. The handle provides great grip even though it is all metal. And the 5 degree blade angle makes a real difference.

My Choice

2009-03-10T07:46:00.001-07:00

The pungently aromatic bitter cherry goodness that is Campari. I am not sure when I first had one but I know it was a hot Texas summer day. I'll take it with soda and a lime on the rocks or in a Negroni. My affinity for bitter, sour, and salty puts this right up my alley. Now I need to figure out how to use it in cooking.

2009-03-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

I have been asked for recipes before and while I will happily divulge to you every ingredient and technique used on thing I cannot do is tell you how much. Not that this is proprietary information or my way of keeping things to myself. I always have and always will cook by feel. With the exception making sure my 2:1 ratio of water and rice is right on, I never use measuring instruments. This is the reason I don't bake as well. Way to tedious.

Below is a snapshot of one of my menus with the "recipes." It is more a list of ingredients to keep my on track and keep me from accidentally omitting something in the event I have a couple of glasses of wine during preparation.

Supper Club Recap

2009-03-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

Last night went pretty darn well if I do say so myself. The food came out great which was a relief after a disastrous trial run the night before. Chuck brought some great wines including on of my favorite new producers. If you can find their wines do partake.

The Ladies

The Gents

The Food

Kissing the cook is always appreciated, but spanking him. Now that's what I'm talking about!

The Menu

Achiote and Chilie Pasilla marinated chicken roulade with panchetta, sage, and Manchego cheese over horseradish and Bouchant mashers and an avacado cream sauce. Topped with a roasted corn and Jicama salsa.

Kitchen note:

2009-03-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

Buy you Achiote already ground. Annatto seeds don't like to give it up. I'm just saying.

Sunday Supper Club

2009-03-07T12:33:00.000-08:00

A few months ago we were invited to dinner at some friends house. I am sure they were looking forward to little more than some good company over pizza and a glass of wine. But being the hospitality minded person I am I offered to cook for the four of us. I figured I would take the oppritunity to get creative and work out some culinary cramps. After all, cooking is my Yoga.

Our first dinner was simple enough. Asaigo and Swiss Chard stuffed pork chops with roasted red potatoes and a veg I don't recall. Apparently it was satisfying enough that they recommended we do this on a regular basis. Not wanting to keep it exclusive we decided to invite others. Posse peeps got top billing but we decided to keep the numbers small since I experienced cooking for the whole group at the lake house last year and that was quite the production.

Since then we have had a handful of other dinners featuring smoked Mahi Mahi and blue cheese grits with beef tenderloin tournedos and port wine reduction over sauteed greens, Pumpkin and chicken risotto, Braised beef short ribs with roasted winter veggies etc. The host couple always provides a wonderful and functional venue and the other guests bring the wine for the evening. I love this tradition because it involves good friends getting together over food and wine and I never seem to cook better than when I am with them. I am my own harshest critic but have yet to let myself down at supper club.

That being said we have another edition tomorrow night. As long as the weather holds we will be dining al fresco so I decided to lighten up the menu a bit. Tomorrow we are having:

Achiote and Chile Pasilla marinated chicken done roulade style with Seranno ham, Manchego cheese and fresh sage. Spanish Saltimboca almost.

Fire roasted corn and poblano salsa

Horseradish and Bouchant spiked mashed potatoes.

I have never done the chicken before so I will let you know how it turns out. Pics and reviews will follow.

Kids meatballs

2009-03-07T12:07:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the interest. I did this because we had some hamburger patties that were about to expire. Recipes are hard for me since I rarely measure anything or do the same thing twice but here goes.

1 lb. Ground beef
1/2 onion minced
1 tbl sp of minced garlic
1 shallot minced
olive oil
1/2 cup of plain yogurt
1/2 cup of cheese
1 cup of black beans or Quinoa
3 cups of bread crumbs
1/2 tsp of cinnamon
salt and pepper to taste

I make bread crumbs in my food processor by tearing up 2 or 3 pieces of bread and pulsing it 8-10 times till they are of even consistency. Sautee the onion, garlic, and shallot in oil to soften it (about 3 mins). Add all ingredients into a large bowl and mix thoroughly. Shape in to 2 inch balls and sautee in batches on the stove to brown the outsides. Put them on a baking sheet with a little cooking spray or oil and bake in a 350 degree oven for 20-25 mins.

I add the yogurt for the moisture and calcium. I left out egg since they were just at the one year old threshold for egg consumption safety. Good for anyone out there that has >1 yrs olds. Black beans have more antioxidants than blueberries and a good amount fiber. Skip these if your kids get gassy. Quinoa is a complete protein and has tons of other goodness in it. I use grated Manchego or Parmesean if I have it in the fridge. If not a regular Mexican blend is fine. Make you own bread crumbs if you can. They are so much healthier and less expensive than store bought. The cinnamon add just a little zing and has good anti-inflammatory properties.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have any comments of I was just way of base with my measurements.

Cheffing for the week.

2009-03-02T09:30:00.000-08:00

I have been taking time out on Sundays and Mondays to cook for the week so that the wife and kiddos have dinner in the evenings. I usually wander around Market Street of Central Mkt for an hour or so grabbing random things sometimes with a purpose and other times without. For this week's menu We have the following:

~Roasted Potatoes
~Wild Mushroom Quinoa
~Baby safe grilled chicken (easy on the seasoning for no good reason)
~Black Beans
~Black Eyed Peas
~Roasted Broccoli
~Roasted Butternut Squash
~Lil Kid Meat Balls (Groung beef with onions, bread crumbs, yogurt, garlic, salt, and spices)
~Beef Short Ribs with Gravy (One last batch before winter is over)
~Rotisserie Chicken with a Tomatillo cream sauce
~Roasted Parsnips
~Diced Cantaloupe
~Lentil Soup

Most everything I make is baby safe and baby approved. Of course I wish I would have been eating Short Ribs and Roasted root veggies when I was younger. We are so lucky that they are not picky eaters. We have yet to find a food that they do not like. This whole process usually means the stove and oven are going for at least 18 hours but on the flip side I hardly touch them for the rest of the week. The other cool thing is that or gracious baby sitters usually have some goods to enjoy while they are here. I was not aware of how anticipated my cooking and a decent glass of wine were until I was reminded by someone after taking a couple of weeks off.

I think I am going to shift my blogging focus to food since it is what I have been enjoying most. Stay tuned for some recipes and pics!

Ball pit fun

2009-01-04T15:55:00.000-08:00

Boy's Day Out

2008-11-18T09:58:00.001-08:00

Big B asked if we could have a boy's day a couple of weekends ago. I am always willing to accommodate the kiddos whenever I can since we don't have a lot of free time together. We called Papa Dave (grandpa) and asked him to join us for lunch and a procurement mission. We received some intel that the McDonald's off Spring Creek was passing out Lego Batman toys with Jr M.R.E.s , so off we went. Apparently we got hooked up with the same outfit that told President Beavis about the WMDs in Iraq because all they had there were Hot Wheel cars. No worries soldiers, we had another Target in mind. Here are some pictures of our mission.

Getting some chow at the mess hall.

Scoring some goods but not what we were looking for.

Wondering how long it takes tho mess hall pukes to puree canned turkey and crackers.

Getting some sage advice from a decorated veteran.

My squad.

There were unfriendlies everywhere and they held the high ground.

This soldier runs with scissors. Cruising in his APC sans protective body armor.

Targets located.

Misuse of equipment. That is not a Mandible Manipulation Unit son!

Mission accomplished. Headed back to base.

My promise to you...not a NaBlaPoMo thing.

2008-11-17T18:02:00.000-08:00

I, nodnarB!, do solemnly swear to post more frequently. I commit to finishing at least half of the 33 partially composed posts that sit on my dash board. I will not use Twitter or Facebook status updates to take the place of actual creative output. I will do unto others as I like...strike that. And I will be a better citizen.

Baby 's with a palate

2008-11-17T17:25:00.000-08:00

My wife thinks that I am ruining the babies for normal food. But try and keep our two little 9 month old infant hoovers away from what ever we are putting in our mouth is like keeping a junkie out of a methadone clinic after getting cash for his plasma. So they have taste for real slow cooked oats with brown sugar or molasses as I like to use on occasion, or some yummy saffron risotto with a small little bite of braised short ribs with a little pan jus. They may not yet be discerning but they are surely hungry.

I flash back to a restaurant I worked in back in Austin ironically named Ella's. There was a family that would come in with their 9 and 13 year old daughters. They usually ordered the escargot or carpaccio appetizer, a filet medium rare and some sort of fish, and a bottle of Cain Five Cab blend. I remember them well because the daughters ate it all. Blood red meat, foie gras, snails, spinach, mahi, lobster, and they even sipped the wine. I used to comment that it would be quite a surprise to the first guy that took them out on a date and pulled up to Chili's only to be laughed at or quickly redirected to a Michelin rated eatery. Or the dad would at the least make reservations for the couple and slip him a couple of "hundies" if he liked the kid.

So now I could quite possibly be setting the stage for a similar situation. The big kiddos are simple in theirs dietary needs. Wendy's is their favorite treat. Their lunches have barely changed in 5 years. Will the next two be the same. We will find out. But if I am left arguing with 6 year olds over Haute French or Norther Italian for dinner or the merits of a sippy cup vs. balloon stemware to let a Cote-du-Rhone breath better, I have only have myself to blame.

Need proof that food is a priority. This is the what he spent 10 minutes in front of waiting for it to open.

Rucksack Reborn

2008-10-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

Sitting at home with head and chest funk and realizing I have not posted in a while.

Back in the day I had quite a bit of specialized outdoor gear. Camping, climbing, winter survival, I had it all. Most of this was acquired in my younger days for traveling near and far. One of my favorite and most useful pieces was my trust little day pack from Dana Designs appropriately named the Humbug Spire. Who would have known that I would acquire a fitting moniker and turned this spare clothes and survival gear packing rucksack into an extreme daddy diaper bag.

No more spare socks, emergency blanket, water filtration, maps, spare compass, signaling mirror, racks full of protection (not what you are thinking), ropes, collapsible shovels, or skis. Lets see what we are packing now.

Loaded and ready for duty

Broken out

Ziploc baggies for packing dirty utensils, bib, etc
Bottles
Bibs
Banana and avacado
Motrin and/or Tylenol
Teething tabs
2 cups of other solid food
Spoon
Place mat thingys
Puffs
Container of cherrios
Wipes
Burp cloths
Diapers (2 sizes)
Spare outfits
Changing pad
Blanket
Toys

2200 cu in of baby gear and I can still take more. Plus if fits just fine over the straps of the Baby Bjorn for a fully balanced load.

Its sad really...

2008-10-02T20:14:00.001-07:00

I will say it and you can all hate, disagree, or give me a one finger salute if you like. Feminists, republicans, Joe six packs should all be disappointed. She was not chosen for her experience, intelligence, or ability. She was chosen because she is female.

As previously stated, "We Republicans will see your race card and raise you a gender card."

Pumpkin Patch Fun

2008-09-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

We went to the PP at the Dallas Arboretum yesterday and had a blast. Well, all but one of us did.

Duh-Duh-Duh I don't know?

2008-09-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Dooce for her post. I agree that this scares the everlivinshit outta me. I overheard a debate at work the other day about putting too much emphasis on the vice presidential candidate and worrying about who "might" take the torch in the event that a 72 year old man develops health issues like...i don't know...maybe DYING!

Watch CBS Videos Online

And now for a message from one of her contemporaries.

The last eight years have been bad enough.

I'm cured!!!

2008-09-25T12:16:00.001-07:00

My Little Buddy...

2008-09-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

The big kids were at school, Ella was sleeping, and Mommy was out shopping. That left me and my little buddy alone with some toys and a camera t have a little fun. Good times!

Moment of Mortality

2008-09-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is not the actual event or tragedy that has happened or been averted that has the most effect on you. It is the period of assessment after when you can put it all in perspective. What if it were you? What if no one was there to help? Would others have the skills or knowledge to help? How would it feel to be that helpless? Would your eyes have the same look if you departed even for a moment?

Last night was as normal as any others. The usual rabble at the bar, the same early shift challenge of trying to look busy or endure the same conversations with the same regulars. I greeted one of our regulars as he came through the door. He was entertaining a couple of out of town clients with his wife and child in tow. I had a couple of things going but still had time to hang out and watch Abbot and Costello run into each other again and break two glasses. Then one of my colleagues came rushing to the front exasperated and sputtering, "Call..oh my god..the phone..911..guy on the floor...um call someone." Four people heading away from the table and me heading towards.

Sure enough there was a guy on the floor. Unresponsive, eyes open, a buddy of his next to him. Training and experience takes over and you go through the motions. Clear the area, clear the airway, raise the feet, loosen restrictive clothing,check for breath, nothing, check for pulse, radial, axillary, carotid, nothing, chest stimulation, nada, look at friend and say "lets go", watch him fumble with nose and mouth, help him open jaw, "pinch the nose and hit him as hard as you can with two breaths," measure up to avoid breaking xyphoid process, interlace fingers, get ready to start compression, leaning back to start, and then he shudders back to life. The odd fuh-fuh-fuh sound like an old engine turning over after a long rest. Sounds oddly reminiscent of another situation when a person took their last breath. Start assessment. Name, location, do you know where you are, do you know what happened to you, can you squeeze my fingers, check for dilation, take pulse, cover with table cloths to keep warm and ward off shock, give stats to friend on the phone with 911 to relay to paramedics, for some odd reason tell co-worker to check on table 23 and send the food on 27, ask wife's name, reassure that he is ok now, wait till the pros arrive and step back from the scene, answer a few questions.

Twenty minutes later feel a wave of emotion and fear punch you in the stomach and shake you to the core.

That is not the first time I have been in that situation and oddly I don't feel like it will be the last. But I have never been so...I don't know...affected. I had a personal stake in this. I wanted everything to go right and for this to turn out fine. I remember seeing the ring on his finger and thinking about his wife. I recalled a comment he made to the child of the host as I walked by earlier about his son. Deb and I have been talking about the rash of 40 year old men dying of heart attacks and leaving their family grieve and cope. I did not want that to happen. I did not want to think of his family and say that we tried.

I thought of my own family. I though of the philly cheesesteak sandwich I had last week and wondered where in my arteries it was deposited. I thought about the odd palpitations I was having the other night that I dismissed as unaddressed stress or too much caffeine. I remembered the difference in his eyes from the moment I knelt over him compared to when he was wheeled out. No animation, distant, quiet, clouded, kinda 2 dimensional, flat, gone. I know there is a difference between heart stoppage and death. Where the brain ceases to function on the residual oxygen left in the blood stream. However, when this process starts, it is like turning a light out in a windowless room. Not instant black but a quick fading away. I was scared and moved. This man did not deserve that fate and neither does my family.

It is true that having children change your out look. I have never had more to loose. Or rather, I have never had some much to live for. I have so many people counting on me. I would never want them to have to figure out how to do it on their own. My actions have never been so deliberate. I do what I do every day for others. My needs come 6th in our family. Behind the wife and all 4 kids. The dog's head is my seat on our totem pole. I am sure everyone has had a moment like this. I would hope that if the roles were reversed that other person would be as adamant.

I don't hug my kids any harder or consciously remember to tell them I love the before we part. I have always done that. I'm not upping my life insurance or throwing out all the precessed meats. I'm merely reminded of the things I have and how much I need, love, and cherish them.

Dads day out. WTF

2008-09-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

I bit the bullet and went to my first SAHDs of Dallas group outing. They usually meet at kid friendly restaurants or brown bag it at local parks. Apparently gun ranges and Hooters are not their style. I admit I had some slight reservations after considering the few men that I have either met or seen on those Dateline specials about working moms that are the family bread winners. Ok...I was a victim of my own generalizations and stereotyping. I mean seriously. What normal red blooded, sports watching, car drooling, butt scratching, competition belching, cleavage oggling guy would choose to not only stay at home but make attempts to find other previously said guys to share bottle preferences and loaded diaper stories with? None. Not a single one.

Now I admit that I share a few (all) of the previously listed characteristics but I do so with panache (vain attempts to act refined) and style (superfluous denial). But for the most part I am a perfect gentleman (full of shit). I am accepting of others and very malleable in social situations. But when confronted with denizens of people that speak a different language (Klingon) and think in different ways (Chaos Theory) I tend to be at a loss for words. So who are the members of these groups.

Enter the work from home programmer with four different mobile communications devices attached to his belt and a hands free earpiece clipped to his suspenders. We all know that these two gravity defying clothing accessories are options. Meant to perform their duty alone, without coexistence. Like matter and anti-matter. Not combined to create a bandoleer of technology. I must admit I admired how he deftly utilized a black berry and iphone while discussing the Malthusian experiment going on in the pond at the park.

Next was the mobility impaired (hobbled) dad that was effectively chaperoned by his four year old. The munchkin closed the driver side door for dad, carried the diaper bag, lunch, and folding chair and herded his 2 year old sister without question or protest. I worried about our knock kneed joiner making it across the lawn from the parking lot to the tree we congregated under. I met them half way and offered to help carry some gear but was shunned by the little care taker. "I got it mister...always do" was all he said. I just realized that I had peered into to 4 year old eyes going on 40. I did get the skinny from the dad who explained that his doctors claimed that his bone and joint degeneration was similar to that seen in people suffering from long term malnutrition. He figured it was from his choice of eating and drinking only saltine crackers, canned sausages, and water from the age of 6-13. Medical science was flabbergasted by the demise of his lower joints but he was convinced he did it to himself. He soon initiated a Klingon pronunciation lesson with suspender guy.

There was also the unemployed for the last 7 years dad that was convinced that he had been black listed by the entirety of the technology industry. He has applied, he has interviewed, he has...I would have been interrupted by him by now because no one could finish a sentence without him correcting your grammar, pronunciation, accuracy of information, or disputing yours or anyone’s opinion. I would call this trait a deal breaker for the interview process. He was also the organizer of a board game playing group the meets at Cafe Brazil every Tuesday night for round robin tournaments. I was not invited.

All in all I was the odd one out. I have an evening job, I am in relatively good physical and mental health, I have a great relationship with my wife, and I like to socialize. I tried to initiate and interject in conversation but was viewed with skepticism and distrust. I had not seen all the installments of LOTR or Star Wars (anathema!!!). I followed the group to the play ground and down to the pond to watch the kids feed the ducks and turtles. I toted the twins around one in each arm. Beck's hat fell off in full view of the group and I had to set him down on the ground, put it back on his head, and pick him back up (A LITTLE HELP HERE?) while the dads shook their heads and commented on how hard it must be to handle them both at the same time.

The only person I related to was the one mom that showed up. She quickly snatched up a baby and a sippy cup. We talked about birth weights, sleep habits, school districts. She was pleasant and upbeat. Either way I realized I was out of my element.

I will try again. I will pick a different day and see if the mix is a little more accepting of my alternative lifestyle. But if it doesn’t work out I will start my own little group known as,

R.elatively

E.mployed

D.ads

N.ot

E.ntierly

C.onsumed by

K.lingon

S.ociety

If it means anything, I was the only one that got the Maltusian reference.

Those Eyes

2008-08-26T08:17:00.001-07:00

How I love all three colors at the same time.

Options...

2008-08-26T06:20:00.000-07:00

Or maybe this one. Never ever though I would be obsessed with strollers.

A plea for good (tip) karma..

2008-08-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

May the gratuity gods be gracious this week. Let a hotel shuttle full of high rollers come in and drop some serious "scarilla" so that we might acquire a jogging stroller for the upcoming 5k. Oh, and for our morning walks to school for the kiddos. After all they are like 30% off.

Daddy Day Care Redux

2008-08-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

Home. Alone. With five humans under the age of 10.

Behest my brethren from my bachelor days. Nay, have I been captured by life and its trappings of off spring. Though I pronounced that I should never hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick and that I should live as a bachelor, I say now, that all seasons shall pass. For I am the Master of my brood and bride and betwixt it all I demanded that she go and travail against the beserkers from the Northern Dalles this day and bring back fruitful bounty. For I shall remain and instruct the flock in skills of swordsmanship. A fortnight early for lessons of the blade you say. I beseech you to fear these mongrels.

So far so good. No injuries, hurt feelings, or potty accidents.

Lazy Wednesday

2008-08-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

It is beyond good times at the house. A lazy rainy day full of nothing to do. Snuggly babies and big kiddos enveloped in our chocolate brown magic couch sloth. Breakfast was a can of spaghetti-o's and a chocolate chip cookie. Why? Because it was there. No TV. Just each other. If we only had a pool like the Willies we would be set.

Beck standing tall

Bouncing baby girl

Happily unmotivated

No paparazzi please. The only pic the wife would let me take/post this morning,

Book worm and snuggle buddy.

Its always easy being cheesy.

Coop offering his protection from the garbage truck.

My Lovely

2008-08-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

She is so beautiful in candle light.

Dare I say I love it when she blows.
*ducking*

One of those days

2008-08-18T12:32:00.000-07:00

You ever have one of those days. One step forward, two steps back. I blame it on the rain and lack of preparation.

Bob's towing

The stalemate has ended...

2008-08-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

I blinked first. I was having an unspoken no blog stare down with F5. I finally cracked and decided to post.

We are getting settled in the new house. Too settled apparently. H's bathroom is still not finished. The yard needs to be mowed. The garage cleaned out. The dog days of summer have hit. I love the fact that we are much more comfortable here and have the room we need to live and to have visitors.

I know how much life has changed when all I want for X-mas is a B.O.B. double jogging stroller. The man cub is growing out of his car seat already and the other double doesn't handle the parts of our walk that are not paved that we come across when we get lost in our hood.

My gangsta wife had a great birthday. I must say that I shopped for her over a month and a half. It was much easier to siphon off cash without her noticing and not scrambling last minute. It will be a challenge to top it next year but I have a few ideas already.

Ok...I think I am back. Simple post today but I was hoping this was like riding a bicycle.

Crooked Smiles and Squinty Eyes

2008-06-10T22:31:00.000-07:00

Same eye and same grin. My wife hates it but I find it endearing. And to have a daughter that does the same should prove to her that she has a mini-me as well.

Where it all began...

2008-06-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, so packing can be a bit serendipitous. While emptying out the junk closet I came across the only evidence we have of the night we first met.

Yes...we were much younger then.

A little close on the first night?

I was asked by a friend of Deb's that I happened to be dating to help organize her 21st birthday party. I had no idea who she was but never passed the opportunity to woo others with my arrogant knowledge of restaurants and wine in Austin. I chose the Bitter End since it was down in the hip part of town and I knew some people there. Oh...and because I liked it. The guest list was organized and reservations made. We could have gone to the Spaghetti Warehouse next door and the group would have been just as happy. I ordered a nice bottle of wine, something Spanish, for my date and I. I drank cognac while others had Dr. Pepper. I was such an ass. But hey, this naive Disney loving newlywed seemed to be having a good time. We left and cruised 6th and 4th street. We had drinks at Cedar Street where the couch picture was taken. All in all it seemed to be a great night for me, and I assume everyone else liked it. Let this be exhibit A for those of you that snicker when she says I was a pompous ass when she first met me. Guilty as charged.

Fast forward 10 years, 4 kids, and 3 marriages later and here we are. We joke about how we met so long ago but would have never been compatible when we were younger. It is obvious that we both had a lot of growth and change in store over the years. I have rearranged my top 5 in my life and decided that keeping a job for more than 6 months at a time is important. She may still long for a trip to Disney but does not drag me to openings of animated films. I would have never in a million years imagined I would be taking pictures with her again complete with a family. We may have taken the scenic route but we finally found each other at the right time.

Side note. The picture on the couch made us giggle. I seem to be pulling her closer while I was merely draping my arm over the girl on the other side that ended up being my first wife. Instinct maybe?

Dry Run?

2008-05-27T05:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday could have well been a dry run for next months event. Remember folks...

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!

It's the first annual Will-Riney-Frank-Scott-Rob-Traub-Orama!!!! Hosted by The Wood Haven in beautiful Kingsland Texas. Dust off the lawn chairs and Igloo coolers for this hill country extravaganza. Free hot dogs, balloons, and pacifiers for the first 15 kids in the door. Parents will be treated to a weekend of beer, wine, margaritas, and co-op meals cooked by a tag team of amateur to avid cooks vying for the title of Top Weekend Chef. Infants will be competing for best, All-Nighter Award, while the toddlers will test the skills of the adults in the, Baby Proofing the Vacation House reality show. The older kids will surely put on a Superpowers vs. Girl Power Talent show. Join us for this premier event and help make this a tradition to remember!

The Will's were kind enough, or at least paying forward some good posse karma, and opened their house to all of us. A last minute party favor was arranged by out stellar hostess and with the exception of a foot pedal to operate the spigot while holding a baby it was perfect addition. This was far better than the one made out of a 5 gallon water cooler, a spare garbage disposal, and leftover PVC tubing. The pool was perfect. The grill was sizzling. We had enough baby gear to make Jon & Kate jealous. We were missing the Rob squad due to their remote location. We will be infiltrating the land of hippies and poorly planned toll roads next weekend to see if we can further coerce them to leave that mota smoking compound and head north to the silicone and botox capital of Texas.

My wife asked if I thought everything went well? I thought for a moment and realized that every fell perfectly into place. Guys gathered around the table talking about guy things (boobs, movies, glory days, Chuck's new book idea, applying for a patent for a foot pedal operated rita machine). The girls hanging around lounge chairs talking about girl things (their wonderful and doting husbands, pedicures, cookie recipes, high fashion). And the kids somewhere in between. Entropy had been achieved.

I don't know about you guys...but I thought it went great!

Sardonic Update

2008-05-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

May already? 95 degrees already? School is out in two weeks. What the heck.

Babies are doing well for the most part. Deb just wagged a bottle in my face that she managed to get the little one to eat in 10 mins. My hour worth of effort didn't even get half of it down. They are still a little fussy but the reflux meds have helped. We had a baby shower for one of my coworkers the other day. Restaurant events are mostly coed since they usually center around drinking, smoking, and acting like juveniles after too many Jagerbombs. I guess most were a little surprised and a little miffed that I turned down shots and disappeared to change diapers. They were even bemused enough to video me holding/bouncing both babies at once when they started to get fussy. After being ribbed about having to change diapers I explained that it was a fair trade off for not having to wake up and feed them at 2, 4, and 6 am. Guess I'm not the wild one anymore.

My little offspring are the butter in my biscuit. Watching them grow and change is a source of constant amazement and amusement. Learning not to leave the boy naked as a jay bird on the bed after a bath is not good. Guess I'm sleeping in the wet spot tonight.

My 4th anniversary of turning 30 is coming up soon and I am totally unconcerned. Birthdays for me are very low on my days of importance. Far behind Christmas, Thanksgiving, August 11th, Feb 20th, and Albanian liberation day. I don't request of require large crowds, organized gatherings, or flaming baked goods. For a few years my request was give me a remote control and a bucket of chicken and let me watch the Indy 500 and Coca Cola 600 in peace. This year how about a gift card to the local gas station since we are road tripping to Austin the day after. For that I will love and admire you for years.

We are moving in a month. Yes, 30 days. Denial has begun. Procrastination is my mantra. But the idea of having more than 1900 sqft for six humans and one seriously over sized dog will get me through this for sure. I still have a bathroom to finish and prolly 15 rooms to paint so it should be an eventful month.

Yes we are down to one dog. The little one got a little wired the last couple of weeks. Ok...she was nuttier than a fruit cake. She growled and snapped at Debbie a couple of times and finally took a shot at me. I returned her to the SPCA and told them her name was Boomerang. I felt a little guilty considering the number of people I chastised for bringing a dog back because of a new family addition when I worked for a rescue group. The lady in line behind me was doing the same thing except that she had newborn triplets. Trumped! Guess I should take her pictures ff my page and replace them with images of the babies.

Hope this post will help roto-rooter my creative plumbing so I can attempt to amuse you guys or just myself more often.

Parting note. Deb just found this in a magazine. A snack ball. I see toddlers sling ceramic bread plates like they are playing frisbee golf on a regular basis. And great for travel? I foresee a three car pile up caused by a rigid round container of cheerios bouncing off the back of a parents head and rolling under the break pedal.

2 year old + ball = throwing. Pretzel crumbs anyone?

I promise...

2008-05-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

I promise to start blogging more often. Mom, my wife, and those 3 adoring fans I have on StatCounter that venture back daily. I promise to start tomorrow because today was pretty interesting and funny. But until then I shall share some common thoughts I found posted on, "The Best of Craigslist."

Common Carpool Courtesy

You would think most of what I have to say would be self-evident behavior for the drop off line at school, but sadly, it seems not. What the hell are you people thinking?

First, of course,...people, get off your fucking cell phones! How many times do people have to be told this? You’re in line for 2 minutes (unless there is another inconsiderate fuck like you in the line), don’t you think the high profile world issues you face on a daily basis could wait until you drive off? Pull forward fucktard!

Second, coffee...you prepping your $6.50 cup cream-mocha-latté-whateverthefuckitis is not an acceptable reason for holding the rest of us up. If you just have to mix your lead filled package of Chinese slave labor flavoring before heading off to your stressful day, could you drop your child off, pull to the side, and do it out of the flow of traffic? Pull forward fucktard!

Third, whatever the hell it is you are digging for in your console. Why do you stare at the line, eyes fixed forward, waiting...waiting...waiting...and then just seconds before it’s time to pull forward, you pull your hands away from the wheel, flip open your console, and start digging for...?...what? What the hell are you digging for? You never find it! The statistical odds of finding anything in your console, while waiting in line to drop off you child, is nill. You have proven time and time again. It’s not there. It’s never there. Pull forward fucktard!

Next, dressing your kid in the car. If you don’t have your child dressed by the time you arrive at the drop off line, then you are not ready to get in the drop off line. Most of us dress our kids at home…I know, weird concept! If your kid is late, your kid is late...and dressing him or her in front of the school, in line, holding the rest of us up, does not somehow magically stop the clock and make it all OK. I know, I know, “It takes a village,” but the village is stacking up behind you, and we really wish you would pull forward fucktard!

OK, “Snoop-Dog”...yes, you driving the 1987 Corolla with the snap-on hubcap spinners and the bumper sticker that says “My other car is Tupac”, stop getting out of your car each day, defiantly starring at the line waiting behind you, and doing that fucking swagger where you hold your balls with one hand and walk as s-l-o-w-a-s-f-u-c-k-i-n-g-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e around to the other side of your car to let your kid out. There are two teachers and ten monitors there to make sure you kid gets out safely. If you just have to do this routine everyday, then move to the side, otherwise...pull forward fucktard!

Slack-jawed people...I am pretty sure you can’t read this, but hopefully a nose breather has seen it and passed it on to you...that big empty space in front of you...the big 5 car space between you and the lady up there on her cell phone...that is a space which your car and the 4 people behind you should be filling in. Those people up there with the safety vests, waving their arms, looking at you like you should close your mouth and step on the accelerator are giving you the universal signal to...pull forward fucktard!

Last, the stay at home moms...do you have to talk to every other stay at home mother that you happen to see on school grounds? What the hell do you have to talk about each and every day? You just talked to her yesterday when you held us all up, what could possibly transpired in the last 24 hours that would require you to once again pull forward 5 feet, step on the brake, try to roll the window down, hit the locks, lock again, roll down the window, talk for-fucking-ever, and then roll your window up, pull forward another 5 feet, and repeat the whole process again? Maybe you could start a coffee clutch, a “La Madelin’s For Moms,” or some other type of morning meeting that would satisfy your craving for endless conversation, but somewhere other than in front of the other 20 cars trying to drop their kids off. Until you come up with a plan, could you please pull ALL the way forward fucktard!

Tagged again!!!

2008-04-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

Ok so first my wife and then Jenny tagged me to do the "7 things" blog. I did the 8 things blog a couple of months ago and figured this might suffice. I promise when I get some more sleep I will create a new 7 things list. Love you all and thanks for visiting.

Tag...I'm it!

2008-04-28T21:26:00.000-07:00

My wife tagged me to do a survey the other day but I had already completed it a couple of months back. So I decided to steal this one from Jenny who got it from Tracey. Hope you enjoy.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?

Honestly? I don't pay bills! I bring home my share of the bacon and my wife decides who get what and when. I would probably say that our $850 worth of car payments are the worst in my mind.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?

We do well with dinner and romance at home. I like to cook so it is not a big ordeal. We did recently have a date night w/o kids at Brio a couple of weeks ago.

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?

Not really. She was older, drove an IROC-Z, and had some experience so it was probably not as clumsy and traumatic as it could have been. Definitely one of those "where are they now" people.

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?

Compromising 1998-2004

5. Name of your second grade teacher?

Ms. Carpenter

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?

Sleeping or playing Wii.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?

I didn't and I am still growing up so I will let you know when I decide.

8. How many colleges did you attend?

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?

It was good for cleaning the kitchen in .

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?

The whole family and I would relocate to the Rocky Mountains or Spain.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?

Crazy! I was actually asleep when it went off and not holding a fussy baby.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?

Please...just 4 hours uninterrupted.

14.What do you miss about being a child?

Fishing with my Dad or friends.

16. What errand/chore do you despise?

I will wash clothes and fold clothes...but I hate putting them away.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?

Heck yeah. HFC here I come.

18. Get up early or sleep in?

I'm a night owl. I LOVE to sleep in.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?

Captian Caveman.

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?

Grab a drink with friends. Chill with Sass.

21. Have you found real love yet?

Finally.

22. When did you start feeling old?

We just talked about that today. I don't feel my age yet.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?

Roast Beef.

25. What do you get every time you go to Wal-Mart?

Whatever I need. Mainly gas.

26. Beach or lake?

Beach.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?

I think it is getting there. That being said I really enjoy this time around.

28. Do you own property?

Technically yes.

29. Favorite Guilty pleasure?

TV!

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out?

Dream a Little Dream

31. What's your drink?

Almost any wine, Miller Lite, Stoli and Soda, Campari and Soda.

32. Cowboys or Indians?

Zapatistas

33. Cops or Robbers?

Class fighting wealth redistribution agents.

34. Who from high school would you like to run in to?

Dawn, Sarah T., Kenny.

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?

103.3 ESPN or 92.5

37. Grey's Anatomy or The Office?

The Office if I had to choose.

38. Worst relationship mistake you wish you could take back?

Honestly, going to the altar the first time with my fingers crossed. I wish I would have...oh well. It got me where I am now.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?

Not sure. Lance Armstrong maybe.

41. Indoors or Outdoors?

Outdoors.

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?

A few times. I had a crazy streak when I was younger.

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?

A few times actually. Like I said...I had a crazy streak when I was younger.

44. Last book you read?

Innocent Man by John Grisham

45. Do you have a teddy bear?

A couple of squirmy and loving little ones right now.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?

In the back of a semi trailer.

47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?

Catalina Island

48. Do you go to church?

Not any more. Old wounds leave bad scars to remind me why I abstain.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?

Neither right now.

50. How long have you been out of school?

7 years

If I had kids of my own...

2008-04-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

My wife left a snippet of a conversation I had with a wonderful patron (see bitch) at work the other night.

The families gatherd at our fine establishment for a birthday party. They had previously called and inquired about bringing their own cake which we have changed policy to deny since, a) it is a health code violation to bring in outside food, b) we lose revenue on not selling our own desserts, and c) the ever so appreciative cheap skates tend to throw a post check dropping fit because you did not read their mind and cut the cake into smaller pieces so that they could take some of it home for later. All good and valid reasons but after threatening to go somewhere else, which I would have suggested, our manager capitulated and allowed the breach of policy. Whatever.

One parent arrived with four children and managed to supervise none of them. Our restaurant was quickly transformed into another type of establishment. They next set of parents came in already mad and arguing with each other about which side of the car they took their child out of and worked on sharing their toxic energy with the group. The rest of the family gathered and after 15 minutes seating arrangement were finally decided on which included putting all five children on the opposite side of the table with no adults. Stellar idea.

After telling the parents that we did not have a children's menu, confirming again when asked if I was sure, and shooting a cross look when someone suggested that I should go check to make sure, we got to ordering. I am the first one to make families feel welcome and comfortable but I am not your emotional punching bag. Adults salads were sent followed shortly by the kids meals since few things keep kids quiet better that pizza and pasta. I of course held the main courses for the adults. All was well until I returned with a glass of wine for Toxic Tammy which I probably should have spiked with a Xanax or Valium and started our exchange.

T. T.: Umm...You need to go ahead and bring the kids food as soon as you can so they don't het out of control. I mean, if you had kids you would understand.

Me: Oh I understand. I have 4 kids. I have already sent their's to the kitchen. They will be up ASAP.

T. T.: No. I mean kids of your own. (eye roll)

Me: They are mine.

T. T.: (Look of disbelief) Really?

Bro-in-law: Why would he say he had kids if they weren't his?

T. T.: I just didn't think someone like that would actually have kids.

Me: (Turning around and snapping a pen in half while biting my tongue till it almost bleeds.)

I get it. I don't have a 9-5 cube job. But Tammy you can take your $30,000 millionaire, leveraged to the hilt in credit card debt, CRV driving, disrespectful head and shove it up the ass of an elephant until you...

Ok. I feel better.

Presidental Preference

2008-04-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought that our little girl would be so selective at this age. Thanks T-Rob for your post about a lil lump that we all love. This has kept our girl happy and content for a couple of days now. Oh...she likes Peaches as well.

Daddy Day Care

2008-04-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

So today is my first real day alone with the twitters. Momma went back to work and we are left to fend for ourselves and fight through the rubble or the twister fest from last night.

On the agenda:

Try and sneak in a shower while they are napping. (Should probably be doing that now instead of blogging)

Get to the grocery store to pick up shallots for dinner and potatoes for a special request from a local celebrity.

Look for an elusive USB cable for a 7 year old digital camera.

Wish me luck.

Uh-nun-see-a-shun.

2008-03-28T08:38:00.001-07:00

Ok. I admit it. Sometimes I talk like this.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/272246/

IndiJewatarians

2008-03-24T20:18:00.001-07:00

I have a recurring family that tends to consistently saunter into the restaurant about 30 minutes before closing on weekend evenings. This would normally drive me nutty but they are prompt and courteous and don't choose to stay till after midnight watching the Martini Park freak show across the street.

The parents are Indian as is the daughter but she married a passively Kosher Jewish guy. The first couple of times in the were kind enough to explain their dietary restrictions and preferences. No beef for the parents, the daughter is vegetarian, and no pork for the son-in-law. When they came in last Saturday we exchanged pleasantries and they started to reiterate the restrictions again. I stopped the daughter short and completed the run down for her. "Wow" she exclaimed! You remembered. "Of course" I said. "You guys are my Indi(an)Jew(ish)(Veg)atarian table." They all paused and digested this title for a moment and the responded with laughter and acceptance. They did ask if they we so noted in our reservation system. I assured them that not everyone would find it quite as amusing as we did.

Bring on the League of Nations.

Doppelganger!!!

2008-03-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

Me Circa Dec 1974

Beck March 2008

The man cub is ready for training!!!

Unexpected Joy

2008-03-20T09:39:00.000-07:00

You know that item from your childhood that has managed to stick around forever. It was a fixture in your daily life. Hotly contested and adamantly defended during spring cleanings and garage sales. One of those things that you either intend to or have already handed down to your next generation. Our friends Summer, Jeff, and sweet Maren surprised us yesterday with a special delivery. Hand made and hand painted. Personally commissioned and designed. Wreaking of quality and longevity.

We can't wait to see them hauled around the house to be used for tea parties, hot wheel car ramps, cookie jar raiding, and the like. Not to down play the generosity of all of our friends and family at all but every child needs a chair/stool combo. Thanks guys. Much appreciated!

They have not yet been kids tested but they are Great Dane approved.

Newborn Session...

2008-03-09T14:09:00.000-07:00

We did our new born session this morning and somehow JenTraub managed to get a preview up within 3 hours. Yes she deserves a nap, another gold medal, and Sainthood.

Headed for a nap..

2008-03-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update for those that haven't visited my wife's blog.

Ella is home. The two seemed so content to be back together. We are very relieved to not be taking 3-4 trips to the hospital a day.

Beck had some wicked gas last night and kept us up till the wee hours of the morning till it passed. Yea! Our first sleepless night.

Grandma is staying the week with us to help out and keep track of the other kids and making sure we eat.

I just want to send a shout out to all of our family and friends, new and old. All the support, offers, meals delivered, meals yet to be delivered, comments, emails and phone calls have meant the world to us. We never knew we had such a base of support. We truly appreciate all that you have done and promise to thank you individually as soon as we are awake enough to make a tally.

I promise to put some more pics up tomorrow. But for now...a nap before I have to head to work.

???HUH???

2008-03-04T14:22:00.000-08:00

I still don't get it. We have boy/girl twins and yet we still get asked if they are identical. Gah!!!

Say 'ello to my little friend!

2008-03-02T20:59:00.001-08:00

Too bad Picasa doesn't have green and blue eye reduction. The Heathens were overwhelmed by the new addition last night. The Doberman was great and handled her curiosity very well. Her maternal instinct kicked in quickly and she was very calm and well behaved.

The Dane on the other hand had a hard time wrapping his small brain around what this squirming, grunting, strange smelling thing was. He tired to take in as much scent as he could and gave Beck a nudge or two. Needless to say trying to keep a 4ft tall 145lb dog at arms length is a challenge. We certainly are not worried about him doing anything more than slobbering on the boy or inhaling his pacifier. And I am thinking that the money we spent on a baby monitor might have been unnecessary considering the big dogs rushes to investigate any sniffle or squawk and quickly finds me to report the alarm. If I seem less than concerned because I am in the middle of washing dishes or folding laundry Cooper gives me a reinforcing woof. He has taken well to his new role in the D.R.H.S.

Either way we look forward to these little ones growing up with their four legged companions. After all I grew up loving my aunt's Great Dane, Santana. Don't freak out mom...Cooper can't reach far enough down into the crib to pick one up and bring them to us.

8 days old.

2008-02-28T10:45:00.000-08:00

Wow! A week and a day. Here are some new pics from this morning. Due to a large number of deliveries at our little hospital the nursery ran out of cribs. They decided to co-bed the twins which really excited us. We had previously requested this but were denied due to the policy set by the Director. There have been many studies supporting both sides of this issue but we have noticed that neither one has had an apnea episode and Ella is now making it through an entire bottle and not having her food pushed through her feeding tube. They look so happay and content together.

Minivan Madness and Posse Love

2008-02-25T16:12:00.000-08:00

Thanks you Tracy and Rich for the beautiful blankets the big brown truck dropped off today. They are so beautiful. And to the rest of the Dallas posse did a little shopping while in Mexico and found some adorable little hats proudly displayed on the monkeys. You guys are the best.

NICU Outakes

2008-02-25T15:44:00.000-08:00

You know you have a special one when you hear little things like this from the staff:

"I went home last night and told my husband we have a princess in the NICU and she knows it!"

"She is just the cutest little Diva!"

"A onesie that says High Maintenance...perfect!!!"

"Well I think she is just trying to leave here with a reputation."

My little girl. I can't wait.

Day 5 update.

2008-02-25T14:13:00.000-08:00

Good news and no news

Beck has really taken to the nip! He is a champ at breast feeding and has a great appetite. Looks like his weight loss has ceased and he will quickly start going the other way. He finally bottomed out at 6lbs 1oz.

Ella has been active and alert. She had a bit of trouble nursing and eating today but that does not stop her from telling you how she feels. She is at 4lbs 14oz right now.

It is amazing to see the differences in their personalties already. Beck is laid back, easy going, and rarely cries. Ella on the other hand is quite the drama queen. I think they both follow perfectly after their mom and dad.

I have to admit it is getting a little frustrating. Its worse than paying for something and it being on back order or putting the change in the vending machine and watching your bag of Fritos hang precariously but planted. They are yours but you cant have them quite yet. They both had more bradys today so that automatically resets their release date to 5 days from the last episode. That puts their check out date at Saturday at the soonest. I trust and want them in there under watchful eyes but I would prefer a commute to the nursery down the hall instead of to the NICU to feed and hold them. It could always be worse. I know there are those out there that went through months of NICU time so I count my blessings.

Any who, we will keep the updates coming. I head back to work tomorrow and life returns to as normal as it can be. Without four extra feet in our house.

My 5 heart stopping moments.

2008-02-22T21:51:00.001-08:00

5. The first time my future wife and I discovered the electricity and chemistry that exists between us. It was a casual brush of hands under a blanket while watching a movie that ignited a spark we both felt. We both paused as they made contact and then interlocked fingers like a Jr. High couple in the back row of a movie theater. It was the first time I had felt that complete and total consumption and infatuation in years. It was casual contact to any outside observer but it led the first of what would be other subsequent heart palpitations

4. The moment that Debbie looked me in the eyes and layed her heart and soul on the block and said the words I had been wanting to say for quite a while. "I love you." She took the chance and the initiative in a new and unconventional relationship and sent caution to the wind. My hesitation in returning the volley was a direct result of trying to defibulate my stuttering heart. I finally managed to acknowledge the gesture and grasp her in one of the longest embraces I can ever remember.

3. February 27, 2007. We came to a stop and released our bindings at 10,800 feet above sea level to share a moment between the two of us. Officiated by an old soul and accompanied by the spirits that chose to gather we exchanged vows in our own way. It was not the altitude that gave me vertigo but the uttering of the words, "I do", that once again caused my ticker to misfire. I had made it this far with this amazing woman and without hesitation she committed to the promise of a union forever. Skiloping was a great idea.

2. July 30, 2007. While the plus sign on the stick was exciting, my fertile Myrtle, had proven that she was capable of making beautiful babies. We committed to trying to conceive and were elated but not surprised by the quick success. We went to our first appointment and were granted an early ultrasound. I had already run the gamut of possibilities and opportunities I would have with the addition of "a" new child in our life. I however, was not prepared for the casual announcement by the tech that there were two embryos. To this point I had never been shaken to the depths of my emotional foundation. Elation, apprehension, fear, and joy flooded my senses and everything, including my heart stood still for the longest moment. This revelation affected me for quite sometime and gave new boundaries to my imagination and what was in store.

1. February 20, 2008. A planned arrival. 72 hours to prepare for the arrival of the "expected." Plenty of time to collect myself for the greatest moment. This turned into the longest walk to the most intimidating operation room, followed by nerve wracking observation of the preliminary administration of instruction and anesthesia, only to be brought to a knee rattling, nail biting, ball of nervousness and anticipation. I never knew time, sensation, and reality could be suspended for that long. I lack the words to describe the period of time that existed between the appearance of the first one and then the second. The sound of the first cry to fill the room followed shortly by a second.

I tried to find a way to be in three places at once. With each of them and at her side. I held back tears because it clouded my view of the two beautiful children in front of me. I dare not yell for joy because the Doctor was still finishing his job. I tried my best to stay out of the way but I could not get the two of them in my arms fast enough. Nothing can prepare you for that moment.

When I returned to reality I realized one thing. All the fear and apprehension was gone and completely replaced with joy, love and opportunity.

Catching up.

2008-02-21T06:36:00.000-08:00

Yes I am a father. Yes I am excited and blessed. I have been handing most of the correspondence and updates so I will try and get something up here soon. Thanks for all the support and well wishes.

PIMPCOM Report

2008-01-28T14:49:00.000-08:00

Breep...Breep...Breep!!!

P.I.M.P. COM (The Prenatal Intelligence Management Program Command Center) has released the following message.

After reviewing the information from D.R.H.S. additional funding was approved for continued black ops surveillance of the U.F.D. Agent Eisenberg reports that the situation seems to be under control and no changes are apparent from previous reports. PIMPCOM has authorized another clandestine fly-over code named, Operation Jelly Belly, early next week to gather more images for the intelligence committee to review. As of last weekend it seems that all preparations have been taken and the budget for defense and containment has been expended. Please stay tuned to alerts from the D.H.R.S for further updates and information.

Breep...Breep...Breep

DEFCON 3

2008-01-21T08:29:00.000-08:00

The following is an announcement from the D.H.R.S.

The D.R.H.S. (Department of Reininger Homeland Security) has raised its state of readiness to DEFCON 3 after receiving Intel from Agent Eisenberg that, "A breach has been located in the critical stop gap that is containing the U.F.D. (Uncontrollable Fetal Duo)." While the gap is reported to only measure 1 cm this is grounds for concern considering the containment structure has shown exceptional strength and determination to not be breached even after 40 hours of intense effort from opposing forces. This is an ominous warning due to nature of this event and the double threat that is currently expected.

Be prepared for unexpected phone calls in the middle of the night. Keep cameras and video recorders charged and ready. Be sure to review and rehearse the call list if you have received one. Stay away from windows and doors. And never under any circumstances look directly at the blast. Please stay tuned to your local blog for further information and instructions.

This concludes this warning from the D.R.H.S. warning system.

Well said...

2008-01-20T19:57:00.000-08:00

List of parental requirements:

Affection without sentiment
Authority without cruelty
Discipline without aggression
Humor without ridicule
Sacrifice without obligation
Companionship without possessiveness

William E. Blatz

My Turn

2008-01-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car),

Bubba Montero

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie),

Nada (lactose intolerant) Chocolate chip.

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name),

B-Rei

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal),
Blue Dane

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born),

Mark Austin

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first),

Rei-br (dumb)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink),

The Green Stoli

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers),

Frank Roy

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy),

Basic Instinct Twix

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ),

Caye Lynn (Apparently my name was going to be Cayelynn if I was a girl)

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter),

Carpenter Cleveland

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower).

Fall Fly Trap (LOL...couldn't resist)

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)

Mango Shorty

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree),

Taquito Oak

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + fave hobby/craft, fave weather + “Tour”),

The Fishing Blizzard

Top 5 things I love about my girl...

2008-01-03T13:23:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the movie High Fidelity I am making a list. This movie was driving my girl crazy, so I had to catzo the situation.

1. That she has been the only person to shake my soul and reality in so long. She encourages me, albeit indirectly, to consider life and how much better it is with her. She truly makes my life better.

2. The was she holds and kisses me. There is no place I would rather be than in her arms. She makes loving and being loved fell more wonderful than ever.

3. The maternal instinct and love she has for her children. Enough said there.

4. The fact that she can adapt and work under many conditions. Granted she may come home is a bawling heap of tears after dealing with it all day. But while she is doing it she is a picture of composure.

5. She smells absolutely wonderful. We both agree that noticeable smell and those indiscernible pheromones are a make or break factor.

Fales Alarm #1

2008-01-03T09:43:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I informed the management staff that from this day forward I was, "on call." Not at their beck and call, at the mercy of the dittos and a uterus. If I drop drinks, hand you my closed checks and cash, peel off my apron and shirt while making a mad dash out of the closest exit, to my waiting car in my rented VIP parking space just strides from the front door don't worry. I informed host staff that if my wife calls in the middle of a shift that they are allowed to interrupt me, even if I am in the middle of gingerly extricating the cork of a '67 Brunello, without fear of gnashing teeth and evil eyes. I shall return.

I did get a call last night as I was wrapping up. It was not quite as shocking since I had called Sass a couple of hours earlier and reassured her that it was ok to call the doctor if you are having more than 4 Braxton Hicks an hour. My over zealous supervisor that is expecting his first child almost tripped coming down the stairs and practically yanked the bottle of strawberry sauce out of my hand since the kitchen staff kindly left me solo to make what ever postres be ordered late that night. I calmly got my stuff in order and left.

The on call doctor recommended that Deb go in for observation and to take a, Hydroponic Protein Synthesis Assessment, or what ever it was called to see if there was a chance she would go into labor in the next 2 weeks. All was well and all was normal.

Will the posse out there please reassure my wife that false alarms are OK. This pregnancy is going to be much different from her 2 singletons. And that she is not, wasting the time of the 3rd shift labor and delivery nurses on a slow Wednesday night, because thats what they are there for.

I have to admit, for all the issues and complications that could occur with 29 week twins, I was quite excited.

Hola 2008!

2008-01-01T11:25:00.000-08:00

Reading over a few random blog sites i realized I missed the oppritunity to bid farewell to '07. C'est la vie. So hello '08. Now, before you go on expecting me to wax poetically about my New Year's resolutions and best of intentions, let me quash the directly. I made a resolution back in '99, (you know...the year that the entire world was going to collapse into anarchy and chaos because computers were going to think it was 1900, crap their hard drives, and short circuit like Number 5), that I would never make another New Year's resolution. That one I have kept!!!

I can say that it has been an auspicious start. Woke up at the crack of 11am, let the heathens out of their crates. The foug legged ones for all of you that have C.P.S. on speed dial. Enjoyed watching my copious wife stand in the kitchen, sans footwear, making waffles while I tried not to make an obnoxious and outdated comment about gender roles and misogynistic expectations. We soon settled back on to another furniture piece made for complete torpidity that was essentially our Festivus present to each other. Deb soon was over come by her
O lde English man crush who left her short of breath and making low moaning noises while I settled into a morning/early afternoon of blog surfing and channel flipping finally settling for a marathon of Dirty Jobs.

Sidebar. I do find it interesting that the current tabs I have open are a parenting blog, an online yiddish dictionary, wikipedia tuned to a page on tetsubins, and Nascar.com. Random huh.

I truly do not know what to expect from the new year. The biggest event is less than 60 days away. Birth of the dittos. Baby X and Baby Y as they are affectionately referred to by the Step-Mother In Law. I have a bit of experience with toddlers and am pretty well versed with the 3-8 age range. But infants are a whole other barrel of monkeys. I was entrusted with Pea and Krunk a few times in their diaper bound years, but for no more than a couple of hours at a time.

My first experience with a heavy ladened diaper containing a quagmire of excrement was quite entertaining. I recalled advice from and old preacher that involved rinsing the offending bottom of said infant by cranking on the bath tub faucet. I also contemplated reattaching the soiled garment and calling the Mum on the lam back from her errand early to deal with the situation. But I lacked the ear plugs and amount Oust to make the return time tolerable. I did call to get advice which drew shrieks of laughter and, "I told you so's" from the girls. Not to worry. The catastrophe was averted and I managed to clean and re-swaddle the crumb snatcher with the speed and dexterity of a drunken tree sloth. Of course upon return the mother hen informed me that I had installed the disposable garment backwards.

Surely I will become much more capable with the expected 1,200 changes that twins average in their first 3 months of existence. I mean seriously, if we divide this responsibility fairly (70/30), that puts me at 360 changes in 90 days. I think I can handle that. Sleep deprivation can lead to hallucinating which is like dreaming while awake. Just think, not having to brush your teeth and change into jammies to have a nice detachment from reality. Brilliant!!! But seriously, the sheer joy of two new additions to coddle and love will be wonderful until we realize that the odds are now two to one. F5, meet the R6. Much obliged.

Contemplating this new arrangement makes me less inclined to make lofty resolutions or goals. Gone is my goal to summit high peaks or train for the Ironman. Hello to new lessons in multi-tasking. I now scrutinize cargo pants for their capacity for emergency diapers and extra pacifiers. My current goals are to finish cleaning out the garage and purchase the perfect anti-diaper-bag-diaper-bag. I am thinking something along the lines of this.

I do, however, pledge a few things. Procrastinate less, read more, worry less, enjoy more. I promise to use my quick wit and tongue for more edification and less instigation. Be more organized. Be less critical. Actually spend more time with friends and family that I do talking about how much we need to get together. These are all lifestyle and attitude changes that will probably be a necessity with the dittos coming.

So bring it on '08. I am ready and willing. We have adopted the proper state of mind and are prepared to roll with the punches. Can't wait to see what the year in review will hold.

BTW...2007 highlights/low lights.

1. Feb 27. Skiloping in Breckenridge. Nothing cooler that saying "I do" at 11,000 feet. Seriously...it was cold!!!

2. Later the same evening deciding to try having a baby of our own.

3. Trading in my tough guy work truck for a kid friendly SUV.

4. Celebrating the third anniversary of my 30th b-day.

5. Two pink lines=positive

6. The moment my heart and the world stopped when they found the second embryo.

7. My beautiful wife turning 30 and still turning heads.

8. Nursing my beautiful wife through 12 weeks of morning sickness.

9. Realizing that my pants are tight because I don't need to eat every two hours like my wife.

10. Our little man starting Kindergarten with excitement and gusto.

11. Trading Deb's curb hopping Jetta for a Minivan.

12. Finding out we are having one of each. This will be the first girl born in our family in 52 years.

13. Seeing my final earnings for the year and sticking up an empathetic middle finger out to all of those chuckle heads that think that my job is not a worth while money making profession.

14. Actually getting to spend NYE with my wife and not behind the bar or out back sending her a text message and sipping prosecco out if a styrofoam cup.

15. Smiling at the collection of "cribs and shit" in the corner of our makeshift nursery/home office before turning out the lights on 2007 and going to bed.

Holy S**t...Dr. Phil???

2007-12-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

Ok...so I posted this a few minutes ago and of course went back to check my links to make sure everything worked. But then I was distracted by a voice in the background. At 00:30 in to the clip there is a bald guy named officer Jager. Someone please tell me I'm not hallucinating and that really is my hero, Dr. Phil.

Dancing cop.

2007-12-13T08:52:00.000-08:00

I am sure most of you have seen the story about the "Dancing Cop" in Rhode Island that comes out of retirement to entertain and direct drivers in his own special way. I just wonder if this might have been his inspiration.

Deep Ellum Fun...

2007-11-18T21:19:00.000-08:00

It was Reininger family picture day today. Our wonderful and talented amiga, JenTraub, coaxed us way out of our comfort zone of the Northern Burbs. Past the PGBTP, past 635, past NW Highway. Heck, I figured we should have topped off the tank and popped in to see the folks in Austin we were so far south. But after we arrived in the urban jungle of Deep Ellum I started to feel at home. We have an area like this back in my hometown...good ol' 6th street.

Urban chic was the theme of the day. Weather was unseasonably warm for November. Anywhere but Texas that is. So much for the sweaters and pullovers my wife spent the last three weeks searching for. I brought my shorts and flip flops as an optional outfit but I was shot down on that one because these were supposed to be holiday photos. Humph!!!

Our lil' man was slow to warm up but after our photographer morphed into the blue power ranger she managed to coax smiles out while doing double round house kicks, dodging webs, and snapping away with utter skill. She truly is amazing.

Can't wait to see the results. I managed to snap a few of my own while Jen was doing her magic.

It's a girl...and a boy!!!

2007-11-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

Just got back from our sonogram and now we know. We are having one of each...no doubt about it. This ends the 51 year drought of females in our family. Got great 3D pictures of the little girl's face and hands. The boy would only cooperate enough to let us see what we needed to see to know he was surely a boy. Men!!!

Now we can proceed with finalizing names and color schemes. Thank god the suspense is over but I cant believe we are well past half way.

8 interesting facts about nodnarB!

2007-09-17T13:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks, JenTraub, for the tag and please excuse my tardiness in completing the task.

8. I can create martinis based on most any garnish I am given. During Girl Scout Cookie season there was The Thin Mint and The Samoa. During The holidays there are the Candy Cane, Pumpkin Pie, and Egg Nog. Any other time there are the M&M, Butterfinger, Krackle, Smoked Pepper, Hawaiian Punch, and the ever ubiquitous BeccaTini.

7. I talk faster than most northerners. I can get to rambling and my tounge can't keep up with my brain. I might have had a good career as an auctioneer.

6. I was born and raised in Austin. This may not seem so strange unless you have lived in Austin. Most consider themselves natives after 10 years of consistent citizenship. We few, proud, and still around swear that 70% of the people born there are abducted by aliens or swept up in government body farms for medical/psychological experimentation. After all...most Austinites are weird.

5. I have an amazingly accurate innate sense of direction. I can be blindfolded, drugged, flown to another time zone and be dropped into a featureless landscape at 2am on a moonless night and pretty well know what direction I am facing. Not that the aliens hovering over Austin ever did this to me...really.

4. I can weave a fairly convincing and seemingly accurate tale of astounding persuasiveness at the drop of a hat. This works well on small children, out of town relatives, and all but the least gullible adults. My wife calls this talent "Spewing Shit."

3. I love NASCAR. For all of you society types that think that NASCAR is nothing but a bunch of beer drinking bubbas that love to watch cars going really fast only making left turns and waiting for the most spectacular crash...you are right. That is 99.999% true. But then there are random fans like me who grew up with a stock car driving father that was more interested in the Daytona 500 that the SuperBowl. Don't get me wrong. I can grill up some Wagyu Ribeyes with a red wine reduction, grilled asparagus, and wasabi mashers served with a fine Temparnillo and then turn around and chase it all with a Miller Lite while screaming "Rubbin's Racin!!!!"

2. My sweet tooth atrophied sometime during junior high. I can't stomach a mouth full of sugar. I can have a Hershey's mini once a quarter and be just fine. Now spicy, salty, and sour. Bring it on!

1. I have pretty good palate. Not just for wine and spirits which helps in my job but for all food in general. I can try pretty much any dish and know whats in it and almost recreate it. This cuts down on our dining budget as long as I have the time/patience to cook.

There we go. A few little tid bits about me. I know I forgot one or two so maybe I will amend this later.

Double Time!!!

2007-08-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

Well it is official. There are two viable embryos. We are excited, amazed, and pensive at the same time. It was better this time around. I didn't need supplemental oxygen or smelling salts to maintain consciousness. Debbie's biggest worry...how big she is going to get. Mine is coming up with another name if they are the same gender. C'est la vie!

Double Crossed!!!

2007-08-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

Our next sonogram appointment was thankfully moved up to this Wednesday. I have both sets off fingers crossed. On one hand for healthy twins and on the other for one healthy baby. I can't wait.

Zen Sarcasm

2007-08-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and
you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was robably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

21. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night"

2007-08-02T08:49:00.000-07:00

I know it might be just twins. Its not like we are having a litter of six or seven but it is still a little overwhelming. You have to understand that I was going to be the eternal bachelor. The first time I got married having dogs seemed like a good supplement. Then I picked up two wonderful angels with my new wife. I love them deeply but they were already pretty independent when I was added into the mix. Now the thought of having two diaper changes, two bottles, two going to school...wow. And then I found this picture and had to laugh.

The Princess's New room

2007-07-15T16:38:00.000-07:00

So Sassypants decided we needed to update the Girl's room while they were gone for the month since we have been promising her pink for a year now. Well being the Uber-mom that she is, she went above and beyond and recreated the likenesses of all the dogs in the "hood" and others that we love as well. She objected to me posting these but I sedated her and went forward anyway. And yes, she free handed all of these herself. I love my little artist.

2007-07-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

My wife said I like dogs more than people.

I had a hard time arguing.

Restaurant Tag

2007-07-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

Blah blah blah about the art of tagging and having to respond. Ask me about restaurants and I will happily divulge. The hardest thing is narrowing it down to 5. Anywho...here I go.

5. Plouf A small French mussel and seafood restaurant in Belden Alley in San Fran. This is truly European style dining in the States. Bumping elbows on a cramped banquet while taking in the smells of the best steamed mussels and fresh baguette. 14 different choices of broth and pomme frites to die for. On nice evenings they take over the alley with small tables and chairs turning it into a true Parisian experience right here in the States. It is almost enough to make you start speaking in a funny accent and wearing a beret.

4. Bella Italia West On the "Bricks" in Ft Worth. This little gem is so amazingly unassuming that it barely deserves a second glance when you drive by. But don't let the white washed cinder block building with a cheesy red, white, and green awning turn your nose up in the air. The chef is off the boat Italian. He was one of the first in Texas to incorporate wild game into his menu. The wine list is the most extensive Italian list in the state and one of the best in the States. They have your usual fare of Americanized pastas and entrees, but you should shop from the back side of the menu and try the ostrich w/G3 sauce, the wild boar tenderloin, or the buffalo bone in rib eye. Grab a bottle of Allegrini La Poja from the Veneto and let your eyes roll back into your head in culinary bliss. The bar has one of the best grappa selections and ordering a nice Poli barolo grappa includes the chef joining you for a toast. Do try this place.

3. The French Laundry Called "The Best Restaurant In America" by just about every food. wine, and lifestyle publication at least once. In the heart of Napa Valley, Cali. This is hands down the most consistent high end restaurant around. Consistent in quality, innovation, services, and execution. The 11 course degusatazion menu with wine parings is so far over the top on luxury and flavor it is almost criminal. A bowl of fresh saffron risotto with white truffle shaved like little pepperoni rounds completely covering the top. Makes you wanna scream, "Great Googlemoogle!" The service is so perfect it almost seems mechanical. Courses removed, silver marked, courses served all with white glove service in a phantom like style. One of the hardest reservations to get and a dinner tab that rivals most car payments. If you can...

2. Trudy's This place obviously has a following since I think I am the third one in this group to mention it. Classic Tex-Mex with excellent consistency and quality. The original location by campus has a great patio where you can enjoy the best margaritas and Mexican martinis around. Every time we are in town we make at least one stop.

1. Asti/Fino Two restaurants get to share top billing since the same minds are behind their creation. Emmit and Lisa Fox have made these siblings two of the best in Texas and rivals for restaurants across the country. Asti is a kitschy little joint in the hear of Hyde Park. Phenomenally flavorful yet simple food with a great wine list and groovy energy. Fino is the younger but more trendy creation that has taken it up a notch. Kick ass cocktails and truly unique food from a great mind. Get lost on the 2nd floor patio with a some friends and few bottles of Prosecco or meet a date at the bar and increase your chances by getting her Strawberry Basil Mojito.

Honorable Mentions: Wink, Roy's, Schelville Grill, Siena, Plumpjack, South Park, Las Manitas (Avenue Cafe), Changos,

There are so many others that I know I missed since I used to consider dining out a recreational activity.

I have a short list of blogger friends and most of you have been tagged but...I tag St. Rich. MV mom, if you could let him know, I would appreciate it.

Sifted Logic

Tally it up

Gun show and lunch at a restaurant with scantily clad waitresses with a buddy $45Sleeping in and getting my favorite breakfast tacos $12Purchasing beer and margarita fixins for a family dinner $20Not having to change a single poopy diaper on fathers day PRICELESS

Cauliflower and Brussel Sprouts

Maybe we should call him Butters

The Nanny Challenge: Butternut Squash Tournedos with a Spinach Sformato over a Cauliflower and Shallot creme with a Pomegranate and Red Beet Gastrique

White Bean and Potato Soup with Black Kale

Daddy's Little Helper

Mashed Potato Flakes

Happy New Year

Austin Trip

Butternut Squash Risotto

Thanks Santa

Potato Leek Soup

Corn and Potatoe Chowder (With or w/out ham

Do try this at home

The Vemon, she is soooo good.

Chili Time!

My Choice

Chicken and cous cous goodness

Ancho roasted pork shoulder

Clay Pot Coconut Curry Beef

Sunday is steak day

For Caroline...Brulee recipe

Dinner for the Devine.

Austin Trip

Holy Spit!

My Choice

Achiote and Chile Pasilla Marinated Chicken Roulade

My Choice

My Choice

Supper Club Recap

Kitchen note:

Sunday Supper Club

Kids meatballs

Cheffing for the week.

Ball pit fun

Boy's Day Out

My promise to you...not a NaBlaPoMo thing.

Baby 's with a palate

Rucksack Reborn

Its sad really...

Pumpkin Patch Fun

Duh-Duh-Duh I don't know?

I'm cured!!!

My Little Buddy...

Moment of Mortality

Dads day out. WTF

Those Eyes

Options...

A plea for good (tip) karma..

Daddy Day Care Redux

Lazy Wednesday

My Lovely

One of those days

The stalemate has ended...

Crooked Smiles and Squinty Eyes

Where it all began...

Dry Run?

Sardonic Update

I promise...

Tagged again!!!

Tag...I'm it!

If I had kids of my own...

Presidental Preference

Daddy Day Care

Uh-nun-see-a-shun.

IndiJewatarians

Doppelganger!!!

Unexpected Joy

Newborn Session...

Headed for a nap..

???HUH???

Say 'ello to my little friend!

8 days old.

Minivan Madness and Posse Love

NICU Outakes

Day 5 update.

My 5 heart stopping moments.

Catching up.

Gun show and lunch at a restaurant with scantily clad waitresses with a buddy $45

Sleeping in and getting my favorite breakfast tacos $12

Purchasing beer and margarita fixins for a family dinner $20

Not having to change a single poopy diaper on fathers day PRICELESS