Last weekend I informed the management staff that from this day forward I was, "on call." Not at their beck and call, at the mercy of the dittos and a uterus. If I drop drinks, hand you my closed checks and cash, peel off my apron and shirt while making a mad dash out of the closest exit, to my waiting car in my rented VIP parking space just strides from the front door don't worry. I informed host staff that if my wife calls in the middle of a shift that they are allowed to interrupt me, even if I am in the middle of gingerly extricating the cork of a '67 Brunello, without fear of gnashing teeth and evil eyes. I shall return.
I did get a call last night as I was wrapping up. It was not quite as shocking since I had called Sass a couple of hours earlier and reassured her that it was ok to call the doctor if you are having more than 4 Braxton Hicks an hour. My over zealous supervisor that is expecting his first child almost tripped coming down the stairs and practically yanked the bottle of strawberry sauce out of my hand since the kitchen staff kindly left me solo to make what ever postres be ordered late that night. I calmly got my stuff in order and left.
The on call doctor recommended that Deb go in for observation and to take a, Hydroponic Protein Synthesis Assessment, or what ever it was called to see if there was a chance she would go into labor in the next 2 weeks. All was well and all was normal.
Will the posse out there please reassure my wife that false alarms are OK. This pregnancy is going to be much different from her 2 singletons. And that she is not, wasting the time of the 3rd shift labor and delivery nurses on a slow Wednesday night, because thats what they are there for.
I have to admit, for all the issues and complications that could occur with 29 week twins, I was quite excited.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Hola 2008!
Reading over a few random blog sites i realized I missed the oppritunity to bid farewell to '07. C'est la vie. So hello '08. Now, before you go on expecting me to wax poetically about my New Year's resolutions and best of intentions, let me quash the directly. I made a resolution back in '99, (you know...the year that the entire world was going to collapse into anarchy and chaos because computers were going to think it was 1900, crap their hard drives, and short circuit like Number 5), that I would never make another New Year's resolution. That one I have kept!!!
I can say that it has been an auspicious start. Woke up at the crack of 11am, let the heathens out of their crates. The foug legged ones for all of you that have C.P.S. on speed dial. Enjoyed watching my copious wife stand in the kitchen, sans footwear, making waffles while I tried not to make an obnoxious and outdated comment about gender roles and misogynistic expectations. We soon settled back on to another furniture piece made for complete torpidity that was essentially our Festivus present to each other. Deb soon was over come by her
Olde English man crush who left her short of breath and making low moaning noises while I settled into a morning/early afternoon of blog surfing and channel flipping finally settling for a marathon of Dirty Jobs.
Sidebar. I do find it interesting that the current tabs I have open are a parenting blog, an online yiddish dictionary, wikipedia tuned to a page on tetsubins, and Nascar.com. Random huh.
I truly do not know what to expect from the new year. The biggest event is less than 60 days away. Birth of the dittos. Baby X and Baby Y as they are affectionately referred to by the Step-Mother In Law. I have a bit of experience with toddlers and am pretty well versed with the 3-8 age range. But infants are a whole other barrel of monkeys. I was entrusted with Pea and Krunk a few times in their diaper bound years, but for no more than a couple of hours at a time.
My first experience with a heavy ladened diaper containing a quagmire of excrement was quite entertaining. I recalled advice from and old preacher that involved rinsing the offending bottom of said infant by cranking on the bath tub faucet. I also contemplated reattaching the soiled garment and calling the Mum on the lam back from her errand early to deal with the situation. But I lacked the ear plugs and amount Oust to make the return time tolerable. I did call to get advice which drew shrieks of laughter and, "I told you so's" from the girls. Not to worry. The catastrophe was averted and I managed to clean and re-swaddle the crumb snatcher with the speed and dexterity of a drunken tree sloth. Of course upon return the mother hen informed me that I had installed the disposable garment backwards.
Surely I will become much more capable with the expected 1,200 changes that twins average in their first 3 months of existence. I mean seriously, if we divide this responsibility fairly (70/30), that puts me at 360 changes in 90 days. I think I can handle that. Sleep deprivation can lead to hallucinating which is like dreaming while awake. Just think, not having to brush your teeth and change into jammies to have a nice detachment from reality. Brilliant!!! But seriously, the sheer joy of two new additions to coddle and love will be wonderful until we realize that the odds are now two to one. F5, meet the R6. Much obliged.
Contemplating this new arrangement makes me less inclined to make lofty resolutions or goals. Gone is my goal to summit high peaks or train for the Ironman. Hello to new lessons in multi-tasking. I now scrutinize cargo pants for their capacity for emergency diapers and extra pacifiers. My current goals are to finish cleaning out the garage and purchase the perfect anti-diaper-bag-diaper-bag. I am thinking something along the lines of this.
I do, however, pledge a few things. Procrastinate less, read more, worry less, enjoy more. I promise to use my quick wit and tongue for more edification and less instigation. Be more organized. Be less critical. Actually spend more time with friends and family that I do talking about how much we need to get together. These are all lifestyle and attitude changes that will probably be a necessity with the dittos coming.
So bring it on '08. I am ready and willing. We have adopted the proper state of mind and are prepared to roll with the punches. Can't wait to see what the year in review will hold.
BTW...2007 highlights/low lights.
1. Feb 27. Skiloping in Breckenridge. Nothing cooler that saying "I do" at 11,000 feet. Seriously...it was cold!!!
2. Later the same evening deciding to try having a baby of our own.
3. Trading in my tough guy work truck for a kid friendly SUV.
4. Celebrating the third anniversary of my 30th b-day.
5. Two pink lines=positive
6. The moment my heart and the world stopped when they found the second embryo.
7. My beautiful wife turning 30 and still turning heads.
8. Nursing my beautiful wife through 12 weeks of morning sickness.
9. Realizing that my pants are tight because I don't need to eat every two hours like my wife.
10. Our little man starting Kindergarten with excitement and gusto.
11. Trading Deb's curb hopping Jetta for a Minivan.
12. Finding out we are having one of each. This will be the first girl born in our family in 52 years.
13. Seeing my final earnings for the year and sticking up an empathetic middle finger out to all of those chuckle heads that think that my job is not a worth while money making profession.
14. Actually getting to spend NYE with my wife and not behind the bar or out back sending her a text message and sipping prosecco out if a styrofoam cup.
15. Smiling at the collection of "cribs and shit" in the corner of our makeshift nursery/home office before turning out the lights on 2007 and going to bed.
I can say that it has been an auspicious start. Woke up at the crack of 11am, let the heathens out of their crates. The foug legged ones for all of you that have C.P.S. on speed dial. Enjoyed watching my copious wife stand in the kitchen, sans footwear, making waffles while I tried not to make an obnoxious and outdated comment about gender roles and misogynistic expectations. We soon settled back on to another furniture piece made for complete torpidity that was essentially our Festivus present to each other. Deb soon was over come by her
Olde English man crush who left her short of breath and making low moaning noises while I settled into a morning/early afternoon of blog surfing and channel flipping finally settling for a marathon of Dirty Jobs.
Sidebar. I do find it interesting that the current tabs I have open are a parenting blog, an online yiddish dictionary, wikipedia tuned to a page on tetsubins, and Nascar.com. Random huh.
I truly do not know what to expect from the new year. The biggest event is less than 60 days away. Birth of the dittos. Baby X and Baby Y as they are affectionately referred to by the Step-Mother In Law. I have a bit of experience with toddlers and am pretty well versed with the 3-8 age range. But infants are a whole other barrel of monkeys. I was entrusted with Pea and Krunk a few times in their diaper bound years, but for no more than a couple of hours at a time.
My first experience with a heavy ladened diaper containing a quagmire of excrement was quite entertaining. I recalled advice from and old preacher that involved rinsing the offending bottom of said infant by cranking on the bath tub faucet. I also contemplated reattaching the soiled garment and calling the Mum on the lam back from her errand early to deal with the situation. But I lacked the ear plugs and amount Oust to make the return time tolerable. I did call to get advice which drew shrieks of laughter and, "I told you so's" from the girls. Not to worry. The catastrophe was averted and I managed to clean and re-swaddle the crumb snatcher with the speed and dexterity of a drunken tree sloth. Of course upon return the mother hen informed me that I had installed the disposable garment backwards.
Surely I will become much more capable with the expected 1,200 changes that twins average in their first 3 months of existence. I mean seriously, if we divide this responsibility fairly (70/30), that puts me at 360 changes in 90 days. I think I can handle that. Sleep deprivation can lead to hallucinating which is like dreaming while awake. Just think, not having to brush your teeth and change into jammies to have a nice detachment from reality. Brilliant!!! But seriously, the sheer joy of two new additions to coddle and love will be wonderful until we realize that the odds are now two to one. F5, meet the R6. Much obliged.
Contemplating this new arrangement makes me less inclined to make lofty resolutions or goals. Gone is my goal to summit high peaks or train for the Ironman. Hello to new lessons in multi-tasking. I now scrutinize cargo pants for their capacity for emergency diapers and extra pacifiers. My current goals are to finish cleaning out the garage and purchase the perfect anti-diaper-bag-diaper-bag. I am thinking something along the lines of this.
I do, however, pledge a few things. Procrastinate less, read more, worry less, enjoy more. I promise to use my quick wit and tongue for more edification and less instigation. Be more organized. Be less critical. Actually spend more time with friends and family that I do talking about how much we need to get together. These are all lifestyle and attitude changes that will probably be a necessity with the dittos coming.
So bring it on '08. I am ready and willing. We have adopted the proper state of mind and are prepared to roll with the punches. Can't wait to see what the year in review will hold.
BTW...2007 highlights/low lights.
1. Feb 27. Skiloping in Breckenridge. Nothing cooler that saying "I do" at 11,000 feet. Seriously...it was cold!!!
2. Later the same evening deciding to try having a baby of our own.
3. Trading in my tough guy work truck for a kid friendly SUV.
4. Celebrating the third anniversary of my 30th b-day.
5. Two pink lines=positive
6. The moment my heart and the world stopped when they found the second embryo.
7. My beautiful wife turning 30 and still turning heads.
8. Nursing my beautiful wife through 12 weeks of morning sickness.
9. Realizing that my pants are tight because I don't need to eat every two hours like my wife.
10. Our little man starting Kindergarten with excitement and gusto.
11. Trading Deb's curb hopping Jetta for a Minivan.
12. Finding out we are having one of each. This will be the first girl born in our family in 52 years.
13. Seeing my final earnings for the year and sticking up an empathetic middle finger out to all of those chuckle heads that think that my job is not a worth while money making profession.
14. Actually getting to spend NYE with my wife and not behind the bar or out back sending her a text message and sipping prosecco out if a styrofoam cup.
15. Smiling at the collection of "cribs and shit" in the corner of our makeshift nursery/home office before turning out the lights on 2007 and going to bed.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Holy S**t...Dr. Phil???
Ok...so I posted this a few minutes ago and of course went back to check my links to make sure everything worked. But then I was distracted by a voice in the background. At 00:30 in to the clip there is a bald guy named officer Jager. Someone please tell me I'm not hallucinating and that really is my hero, Dr. Phil.
Dancing cop.
I am sure most of you have seen the story about the "Dancing Cop" in Rhode Island that comes out of retirement to entertain and direct drivers in his own special way. I just wonder if this might have been his inspiration.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Deep Ellum Fun...
It was Reininger family picture day today. Our wonderful and talented amiga, JenTraub, coaxed us way out of our comfort zone of the Northern Burbs. Past the PGBTP, past 635, past NW Highway. Heck, I figured we should have topped off the tank and popped in to see the folks in Austin we were so far south. But after we arrived in the urban jungle of Deep Ellum I started to feel at home. We have an area like this back in my hometown...good ol' 6th street.
Urban chic was the theme of the day. Weather was unseasonably warm for November. Anywhere but Texas that is. So much for the sweaters and pullovers my wife spent the last three weeks searching for. I brought my shorts and flip flops as an optional outfit but I was shot down on that one because these were supposed to be holiday photos. Humph!!!
Our lil' man was slow to warm up but after our photographer morphed into the blue power ranger she managed to coax smiles out while doing double round house kicks, dodging webs, and snapping away with utter skill. She truly is amazing.
Can't wait to see the results. I managed to snap a few of my own while Jen was doing her magic.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
It's a girl...and a boy!!!
Just got back from our sonogram and now we know. We are having one of each...no doubt about it. This ends the 51 year drought of females in our family. Got great 3D pictures of the little girl's face and hands. The boy would only cooperate enough to let us see what we needed to see to know he was surely a boy. Men!!!
Now we can proceed with finalizing names and color schemes. Thank god the suspense is over but I cant believe we are well past half way.
Now we can proceed with finalizing names and color schemes. Thank god the suspense is over but I cant believe we are well past half way.
Monday, September 17, 2007
8 interesting facts about nodnarB!
Thanks, JenTraub, for the tag and please excuse my tardiness in completing the task.
8. I can create martinis based on most any garnish I am given. During Girl Scout Cookie season there was The Thin Mint and The Samoa. During The holidays there are the Candy Cane, Pumpkin Pie, and Egg Nog. Any other time there are the M&M, Butterfinger, Krackle, Smoked Pepper, Hawaiian Punch, and the ever ubiquitous BeccaTini.
7. I talk faster than most northerners. I can get to rambling and my tounge can't keep up with my brain. I might have had a good career as an auctioneer.
6. I was born and raised in Austin. This may not seem so strange unless you have lived in Austin. Most consider themselves natives after 10 years of consistent citizenship. We few, proud, and still around swear that 70% of the people born there are abducted by aliens or swept up in government body farms for medical/psychological experimentation. After all...most Austinites are weird.
5. I have an amazingly accurate innate sense of direction. I can be blindfolded, drugged, flown to another time zone and be dropped into a featureless landscape at 2am on a moonless night and pretty well know what direction I am facing. Not that the aliens hovering over Austin ever did this to me...really.
4. I can weave a fairly convincing and seemingly accurate tale of astounding persuasiveness at the drop of a hat. This works well on small children, out of town relatives, and all but the least gullible adults. My wife calls this talent "Spewing Shit."
3. I love NASCAR. For all of you society types that think that NASCAR is nothing but a bunch of beer drinking bubbas that love to watch cars going really fast only making left turns and waiting for the most spectacular crash...you are right. That is 99.999% true. But then there are random fans like me who grew up with a stock car driving father that was more interested in the Daytona 500 that the SuperBowl. Don't get me wrong. I can grill up some Wagyu Ribeyes with a red wine reduction, grilled asparagus, and wasabi mashers served with a fine Temparnillo and then turn around and chase it all with a Miller Lite while screaming "Rubbin's Racin!!!!"
2. My sweet tooth atrophied sometime during junior high. I can't stomach a mouth full of sugar. I can have a Hershey's mini once a quarter and be just fine. Now spicy, salty, and sour. Bring it on!
1. I have pretty good palate. Not just for wine and spirits which helps in my job but for all food in general. I can try pretty much any dish and know whats in it and almost recreate it. This cuts down on our dining budget as long as I have the time/patience to cook.
There we go. A few little tid bits about me. I know I forgot one or two so maybe I will amend this later.
8. I can create martinis based on most any garnish I am given. During Girl Scout Cookie season there was The Thin Mint and The Samoa. During The holidays there are the Candy Cane, Pumpkin Pie, and Egg Nog. Any other time there are the M&M, Butterfinger, Krackle, Smoked Pepper, Hawaiian Punch, and the ever ubiquitous BeccaTini.
7. I talk faster than most northerners. I can get to rambling and my tounge can't keep up with my brain. I might have had a good career as an auctioneer.
6. I was born and raised in Austin. This may not seem so strange unless you have lived in Austin. Most consider themselves natives after 10 years of consistent citizenship. We few, proud, and still around swear that 70% of the people born there are abducted by aliens or swept up in government body farms for medical/psychological experimentation. After all...most Austinites are weird.
5. I have an amazingly accurate innate sense of direction. I can be blindfolded, drugged, flown to another time zone and be dropped into a featureless landscape at 2am on a moonless night and pretty well know what direction I am facing. Not that the aliens hovering over Austin ever did this to me...really.
4. I can weave a fairly convincing and seemingly accurate tale of astounding persuasiveness at the drop of a hat. This works well on small children, out of town relatives, and all but the least gullible adults. My wife calls this talent "Spewing Shit."
3. I love NASCAR. For all of you society types that think that NASCAR is nothing but a bunch of beer drinking bubbas that love to watch cars going really fast only making left turns and waiting for the most spectacular crash...you are right. That is 99.999% true. But then there are random fans like me who grew up with a stock car driving father that was more interested in the Daytona 500 that the SuperBowl. Don't get me wrong. I can grill up some Wagyu Ribeyes with a red wine reduction, grilled asparagus, and wasabi mashers served with a fine Temparnillo and then turn around and chase it all with a Miller Lite while screaming "Rubbin's Racin!!!!"
2. My sweet tooth atrophied sometime during junior high. I can't stomach a mouth full of sugar. I can have a Hershey's mini once a quarter and be just fine. Now spicy, salty, and sour. Bring it on!
1. I have pretty good palate. Not just for wine and spirits which helps in my job but for all food in general. I can try pretty much any dish and know whats in it and almost recreate it. This cuts down on our dining budget as long as I have the time/patience to cook.
There we go. A few little tid bits about me. I know I forgot one or two so maybe I will amend this later.
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