Friday, June 29, 2007

Where does jelly come from?

A conversation with the boy this morning.

Boy: "I don't like jelly."

Me: "Why?"

Boy: "Because it comes from jellyfish, and I don't like fish."

Me: *Laughing my ass off*

Boy: "And how do they not get stung when they get the jelly from the jellyfish?"

Me: I now have tears in my eyes and am having a hard time driving...

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The more prohibitions you have, the less virtious people will be.

The more weapons you have, the less secure people will be.

The more subsidies you have, the less self-reliant people will be.

---Loa-tzu, Tao Te Ching

Monday, June 25, 2007

American Idolatry

Who would have thought that an updated version of Star Search hosted by a gruff, self serving, egoist, a pill popping, glassy eyed, bimbo, and a monosyllabic, washed up, coat tail grabber would become the new fin de secile for our society?

The cute faced starletts look out to the one eyed souls catchers giving the best puppy dog eyes they can muster after 16 weeks of sleep deprivation and PR spots hoping that the populous will enter their digits into their $300 razor phone with the pink and black bejeweled cover.

They recreate oldies, newbies, classics, and show tunes. Singing for their future by recreating the past with their own personal twist. They suffer the daggers of criticism from the bi-polar Stalin Cowell. Rambling babbles from Mwuah Abdul. Four legged verbal high five references followed by a few grunts and guttural noises from Neanderthal Jackson.

P.T. Seacrest keeps the nation and world in suspense with his well rehearsed and predictable, yet still shocking commercial segways. Advertisers have a chip implanted in his brain that short circuits his neurons before all exciting revelations and causes him to mutter another "when we return, after theses messages, following a commercial break" blurb.

More popular than a presidential election, CSI, homework, books, or even God himself. More contested and debated at school, work, and restaurants. This is the new world sermon from which we all judge good and bad. Right and wrong.
The college of TV cardinals is now headed by a group from FOX. They have made a puppet of the Pope of broadcasting. They bring more converts and money to the church of entertainment than any other. Their pulpit is sought after, TIVOed, and downloaded en masse. Their missionaries are fervent and dedicated. Chastising all who have not heard the message and forcing into capitulation the individual souls that decided to watch The Gilmour Girls instead.

"If I don't watch it I won't have anything to talk about at work...". "OMG! Let's plan a watching party at my bring the chips and salsa!" "$2 drafts and $3 wells plus half price appetizers. 35 TVs to watch the final 3 on..."

American Idolatry.